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Line 27: − + + + + − Taittirīyasaṃhitā (6.3.10.5) says that a Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts and the debts of sages and forefathers have to be cleared by performing Yajñas (sacrifices) and producing children –<blockquote>जायमानो ह वै ब्राह्मणस्त्रिभिर्ऋणवान् जायते ब्रह्मचर्येण ऋषिभ्यः यज्ञेन देवेभ्यः प्रजया पितृभ्यः एष वा अनृणो यः पुत्री यज्वा ब्रह्मचारिवासी . . . jāyamāno ha vai brāhmaṇastribhirṛṇavān jāyate brahmacaryeṇa ṛṣibhyaḥ yajñena devebhyaḥ prajayā pitṛbhyaḥ eṣa vā anṛṇo yaḥ putrī yajvā brahmacārivāsī . . .</blockquote>A Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts – he has to clear the debt of sages through [[Brahmacharya (ब्रह्मचर्यम्)|Brahmacharya]] (celibacy), that of deities / Gods through [[Yajna (यज्ञः)|Yajñas]] (sacrifices) and that of forefathers through producing children. Therefore the Brāhmaṇa would be debtless if he has children, performs sacrifices and maintains Brahmacharya.+ + + + + − Social Problems + + + + + + + + + + + + Line 65:
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==Dharmas of the Married Couple==
==Dharmas of the Married Couple==
The husband and the wife were together required to observe a code of conduct, and they had to discharge their responsibility jointly. In particular, they were together required to discharge five pious obligations namely; (i) towards the deities, (ii) towards parents, (iii) towards teachers and (iv) towards humanity (v) towards other beings. In effect the [[Panchamahayajnas (पञ्चमहायज्ञाः)|Panchamahayajnas]], are the responsibilities vested on the Grhastha and this starts with the Vivaha samskara. This could be discharged only by living together with mutual love and fidelity throughout their life which is the sum and substance of dharma of husband and wife. To impress upon every couple this aspect Manusmriti -IX -101 and III-60 declared thus:<ref name=":22">Jois, Rama M. (1997) ''Dharma, The Global Ethic.'' Bombay: Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan (Pages 62 - )</ref><blockquote>अन्योन्यस्याव्यभिचारो भवेदामरणान्तिकः । एष धर्मः समासेन ज्ञेयः स्त्रीपुंसयोः परः । । ९.१०१ ।
The husband and the wife were together required to observe a code of conduct, and they had to discharge their responsibility jointly. In particular, they were together required to discharge five pious obligations namely; (i) towards the deities, (ii) towards parents, (iii) towards teachers and (iv) towards humanity (v) towards other beings. In effect the [[Panchamahayajnas (पञ्चमहायज्ञाः)|Panchamahayajnas]], are the responsibilities vested on the Grhastha and this starts with the Vivaha samskara. This could be discharged only by living together with mutual love and fidelity throughout their life which is the sum and substance of dharma of husband and wife. To impress upon every couple this aspect Manusmriti -IX -101 and III-60 declared thus:<ref name=":22">Jois, Rama M. (1997) ''Dharma, The Global Ethic.'' Bombay: Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan (Pages 62 - 65)</ref><blockquote>अन्योन्यस्याव्यभिचारो भवेदामरणान्तिकः । एष धर्मः समासेन ज्ञेयः स्त्रीपुंसयोः परः । । ९.१०१ ।
संतुष्टो भार्यया भर्ता भर्त्रा भार्या तथैव च । यस्मिन्नेव कुले नित्यं कल्याणं तत्र वै ध्रुवम् । । ३.६० । ।</blockquote>Meaning: Mutual friendship and fidelity is the highest Dharma to be followed by husband and wife throughout their life. he family in which husband and wife have mutual affection and respect always secures happiness and prosperity.<ref name=":22" />
संतुष्टो भार्यया भर्ता भर्त्रा भार्या तथैव च । यस्मिन्नेव कुले नित्यं कल्याणं तत्र वै ध्रुवम् । । ३.६० । ।</blockquote>Meaning: Mutual friendship and fidelity is the highest Dharma to be followed by husband and wife throughout their life. he family in which husband and wife have mutual affection and respect always secures happiness and prosperity.<ref name=":22" />
The observance of the above directive throughout life by the husband and the wife is not only conducive to happiness and harmony in family life, but also essential for national or social life.<ref name=":22" />
The observance of the above directive throughout life by the husband and the wife is not only conducive to happiness and harmony in family life, but also essential for national or social life.<ref name=":22" />
Taittirīyasaṃhitā (6.3.10.5) says that a Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts and the debts of sages and forefathers have to be cleared by performing Yajñas (sacrifices) and producing children –<blockquote>जायमानो ह वै ब्राह्मणस्त्रिभिर्ऋणवान् जायते ब्रह्मचर्येण ऋषिभ्यः यज्ञेन देवेभ्यः प्रजया पितृभ्यः एष वा अनृणो यः पुत्री यज्वा ब्रह्मचारिवासी . . . jāyamāno ha vai brāhmaṇastribhirṛṇavān jāyate brahmacaryeṇa ṛṣibhyaḥ yajñena devebhyaḥ prajayā pitṛbhyaḥ eṣa vā anṛṇo yaḥ putrī yajvā brahmacārivāsī . . .</blockquote>A Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts – he has to clear the debt of sages through [[Brahmacharya (ब्रह्मचर्यम्)|Brahmacharya]] (celibacy), that of deities / Gods through [[Yajna (यज्ञः)|Yajñas]] (sacrifices) and that of forefathers through producing children. Therefore the Brāhmaṇa would be debtless if he has children, performs sacrifices and maintains Brahmacharya.
== Marriage and Social Issues ==
Marriages were arranged keeping the social issues in view. Manu regarded a good family as the most important from the eugenics point of view. Any marriage relationship with the best was encouraged by one desiring to raise his family to excellence and eminence.<ref name=":2" />
One of the serious problems human society is facing particularly in the west and which is spreading like an epidemic disease to our country also is disregarding the 'Dharma' of husband and wife, which brings about disruption of family life. This results in serious consequences to the children, their upbringing, their character and ultimately their whole life and attitude of life which not only ruins individual life and family life but also adversely affects national life as also humanity. This is due to the 'Throwaway attitude' which is replacing the value of gratitude. This is becoming a menace to human society. In view of this every individual is becoming totally selfish in that there is no attachment to anyone not even to parents, the spouse or even children or to any thing. Every individual wants to use an article so long as he pleases and the moment he finds a better article, he throws away the first and take the second and so on. This attitude towards articles of use ie., consumerism is posing a serious economic problem to human society. That itself is sufficiently disastrous. But unfortunately it is being extended to family life also. The resultant position is, in many cases husband and wife instead of realising that marriage is a life long bond with onerous responsibilities of begetting children, educating them and providing good citizens to the nation, think that marriage is only for physical enjoyment and the spouse can be replaced by another of ones liking at any time and for any reason whatsoever. In view of this, human beings are fast losing sexual morality, and as a result are becoming no better than animals. Such an attitude is wholly contrary to Dharma. It gives rise to serious social problems particularly in cases where husband and wife after marriage have children and thereafter each prefers to go for a new spouse. They do not care what happens to their children, about their education and their upbringing. Such an attitude also results in making a child an orphan when the parents are alive.<ref name=":22" />
The results can be seen in the dramatic rise in crime among the young, drug and alcohol abuse, suicide, depression and poverty. The throwaway attitude which is the major cause of divorce, is spreading like an epidemic to all nations of the world. Only a sense of dharma of the husband and the wife can act as a check. If it goes unchecked the abandoned children become a menace and burden to the society. Particularly being unprotected by parents and parental affection, they become victims of bad habits and develop undesirable qualities, as a result they will have neither the moral nor the physical strength to bear the onerous responsibilities of the family and/or of the nation.<ref name=":22" />
The same throwaway attitude is also being extended to parents and other dependents. When utter selfishness overpowers selflessness ie., sacrifice which is one of the basic values of life and the throwaway attitude takes over, this is what happens. So long as parents are helpful by way of providing food and service and education, they are good, but the moment owing to old age and/or illness they require the support of their children they are regarded as a liability and burden and are being thrown away. They have to spend the evening of their life in "Vridhashramas". (Old Age Rescue Homes).<ref name=":22" />
==Purpose of Marriage==
==Purpose of Marriage==
The ancient texts reveal that the society even in those times was not based on barbarism where the both the sexes were promiscuous and unregulated. There was a purpose for marriages and they can be summarized as<ref name=":2" />
# To perform yajnas as both husband and wife were required to follow the prescriptions in the Vedas
# To procreate and save a man from Naraka (Naraka named Pum).
# To have sons and fulfill the Pitr rna.
# To enjoy material pleasures
The purpose of marriage, according to Rigveda was to enable a man, by becoming a householder, to perform yajnas and to procreate sons. Sukta 85 in Mandala 10 shows that the husband took a woman's hand in marriage, accepting her as wife for 'garhapatya (र्गार्हपत्यम्)', i.e., to perform yajnas.<blockquote>गृ॒भ्णामि॑ ते सौभग॒त्वाय॒ हस्तं॒ मया॒ पत्या॑ ज॒रद॑ष्टि॒र्यथास॑: । भगो॑ अर्य॒मा स॑वि॒ता पुरं॑धि॒र्मह्यं॑ त्वादु॒र्गार्ह॑पत्याय दे॒वाः ॥३६॥ (Rig. Veda. 10.85.36)</blockquote>Rigveda (5.3.2) and (5.28.3) speak of the cooperation of husband and wife in the worship of devatas.
So, '''dharmasampatti''' (performing dharmik activities and thereby earn the Punya), '''prajaa''' (and consequent freedom from Naraka), and '''rati''' (sexual and other pleasures) are the principal purposes of marriage according to the Smrtis and Nibandhas. Manu states to this effect as follows<blockquote>अपत्यं धर्मकार्याणि शुश्रूषा रतिरुत्तमा । दाराधीनस्तथा स्वर्गः पितॄणां आत्मनश्च ह । । ९.२८ (Manu. Smrt. 9.28)</blockquote>Meaning: On the wife depends the procreation of sons, the performance of religious rites, service, highest pleasures, attainment of svarga for oneself and for one's ancestors).<ref name=":2" />
In the Saṃkalpa (the pledge made before any rite) of marriage, the following is stated –<blockquote>धर्मप्रजासम्पत्यर्थं स्त्रियमुद्वहे dharmaprajāsampatyarthaṃ striyamudvahe</blockquote>I wed this girl for Dharma, offspring and Artha (money matters and day to day life). Further it is asserted in scriptures –<blockquote>या धर्मार्था सैव रत्यर्था या रत्यर्था सा धर्मार्था न भवति। yā dharmārthā saiva ratyarthā yā ratyarthā sā dharmārthā na bhavati ।</blockquote>The bride who is accepted as wife for Dharma is also for sexual life but the one taken for sexual life cannot be for Dharma.
In the Saṃkalpa (the pledge made before any rite) of marriage, the following is stated –<blockquote>धर्मप्रजासम्पत्यर्थं स्त्रियमुद्वहे dharmaprajāsampatyarthaṃ striyamudvahe</blockquote>I wed this girl for Dharma, offspring and Artha (money matters and day to day life). Further it is asserted in scriptures –<blockquote>या धर्मार्था सैव रत्यर्था या रत्यर्था सा धर्मार्था न भवति। yā dharmārthā saiva ratyarthā yā ratyarthā sā dharmārthā na bhavati ।</blockquote>The bride who is accepted as wife for Dharma is also for sexual life but the one taken for sexual life cannot be for Dharma.
==Eight Kinds of Marriages==
==Eight Kinds of Marriages==
The bride and the groom in general should be free from bodily ailments, agreeable name, good gait and delicate limbs and must be of a good family and faultless lineage. The following factors are evaluated in choosing a bride or groom.
The bride and the groom in general should be free from bodily ailments, agreeable name, good gait and delicate limbs and must be of a good family and faultless lineage. The following factors are evaluated in choosing a bride or groom.
#'''Biological factors''' - certain body structure, defects, virility etc
#'''Biological factors''' - certain body structure, defects, virility etc
#'''Psychological issues''' - such as mental illnesses, epilepsy, etc
#'''Psychological issues''' - such as intelligence, mental illnesses, epilepsy, etc
#'''Dharmik aspects''' - such as not being Sagotra or Sapinda of each other, should have vedic education in family etc
#'''Dharmik aspects''' - such as not being Sagotra or Sapinda of each other, should have vedic education in family etc
#'''Social aspects''' - such as a bride having brothers or not, if born of improper marriage, character, education etc.
#'''Social aspects''' - such as a bride having brothers or not, if born of improper marriage, celibacy, character, education etc.
#'''Hereditary matters''' - such as whether the families have male progeny
#'''Hereditary matters''' - such as whether the families have male progeny
The Apastamba grhyasutra (3.20) remarks that accomplishments of a bridegroom are that he must be endowed with good family, a good character, auspicious characteristics, learning and good health.<ref name=":2" /><blockquote>
बन्धुशीललक्षणसम्पन्नश्श्रुतवानरोग इति वरसम्पत् २० (Apas. Grhy. Sutr. 3.20)</blockquote>
Baudhayana (Dharmasutra 4.1.12) emphasizes on celibacy of the groom, states that 'a maiden should be given in marriage to one who is endowed with good qualities and who is a celibate (till then).<ref name=":2" />
Manu gives a list of types of families, girls from which should not be accepted for wedlock, even though the families may be “ever so great, or rich in cows, horses, sheep, grain, or other property”.<blockquote>महान्त्यपि समृद्धानि गोऽजाविधनधान्यतः । स्त्रीसंबन्धे दशैतानि कुलानि परिवर्जयेत् । । ३.६ । । हीनक्रियं निष्पुरुषं निश्छन्दो रोमशार्शसम् । क्षयामयाव्यपस्मारि श्वित्रिकुष्ठिकुलानि च । । ३.७ (Manu. Smrt. 3.6-7)<ref>Manusmrti ([https://sa.wikisource.org/wiki/%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%A8%E0%A5%81%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%83/%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%80%E0%A4%AF%E0%A5%8B%E0%A4%A7%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%83 Adhyaya 3])</ref></blockquote>These families are:<ref>Pandharinath H. Valavalkar (1939) ''Hindu Social Institutions with reference to their psychological implications.'' Bombay: Longmans, Green and Co. Ltd (Pages 158-159)</ref>
Manu gives a list of types of families, girls from which should not be accepted for wedlock, even though the families may be “ever so great, or rich in cows, horses, sheep, grain, or other property”.<blockquote>महान्त्यपि समृद्धानि गोऽजाविधनधान्यतः । स्त्रीसंबन्धे दशैतानि कुलानि परिवर्जयेत् । । ३.६ । । हीनक्रियं निष्पुरुषं निश्छन्दो रोमशार्शसम् । क्षयामयाव्यपस्मारि श्वित्रिकुष्ठिकुलानि च । । ३.७ (Manu. Smrt. 3.6-7)<ref>Manusmrti ([https://sa.wikisource.org/wiki/%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%A8%E0%A5%81%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%83/%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%80%E0%A4%AF%E0%A5%8B%E0%A4%A7%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%83 Adhyaya 3])</ref></blockquote>These families are:<ref>Pandharinath H. Valavalkar (1939) ''Hindu Social Institutions with reference to their psychological implications.'' Bombay: Longmans, Green and Co. Ltd (Pages 158-159)</ref>
#One which neglects the dharmas, i. e. their duties and obligations according to the sastras.
#One which neglects the dharmas, i. e. their duties and obligations according to the sastras.