Changes

In [https://dharmawiki.org/index.php/Sanatana_Dharma_(%E0%A4%B8%E0%A4%A8%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%A8%E0%A4%A7%E0%A4%B0%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%83) Sanatana Dharma] traditions the second stage of life after [https://dharmawiki.org/index.php/Brahmacharyashrama_(%E0%A4%AC%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%B0%E0%A4%B9%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%9A%E0%A4%B0%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%B6%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%B0%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%83) Brahmacharya] is called the [https://dharmawiki.org/index.php/Grhasthashrama_(%E0%A4%97%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%B9%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%A5%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%B6%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%B0%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%83) Grhasthashrama]<ref name=":0">Radhakrishnan, S. (1926). ''Hindu view of life''. George Allen And Unwin Ltd, London.</ref>.A human being is not ordinarily self-sufficing. These are as a rule encouraged to enter the married life. In India monastic tendencies were discouraged until one had a normal expression of natural impulses. He who runs back from marriage is in the same boat with one who runs away from battle. Only failures in life avoid occasions for virtue. Marriage is regarded as sacred. When the Hindu descends from the adoration of the Absolute and takes to the worship of a personal deity, his deity has always a consort. He does not worship a bachelor or a virgin.<ref name=":0" />  

In [https://dharmawiki.org/index.php/Sanatana_Dharma_(%E0%A4%B8%E0%A4%A8%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%A8%E0%A4%A7%E0%A4%B0%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%83) Sanatana Dharma] traditions the second stage of life after [https://dharmawiki.org/index.php/Brahmacharyashrama_(%E0%A4%AC%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%B0%E0%A4%B9%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%9A%E0%A4%B0%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%B6%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%B0%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%83) Brahmacharya] is called the [https://dharmawiki.org/index.php/Grhasthashrama_(%E0%A4%97%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%B9%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%A5%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%B6%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%B0%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%83) Grhasthashrama]<ref name=":0">Radhakrishnan, S. (1926). ''Hindu view of life''. George Allen And Unwin Ltd, London.</ref>.A human being is not ordinarily self-sufficing. These are as a rule encouraged to enter the married life. In India monastic tendencies were discouraged until one had a normal expression of natural impulses. He who runs back from marriage is in the same boat with one who runs away from battle. Only failures in life avoid occasions for virtue. Marriage is regarded as sacred. When the Hindu descends from the adoration of the Absolute and takes to the worship of a personal deity, his deity has always a consort. He does not worship a bachelor or a virgin.<ref name=":0" />  

Śiva is ardhanāriśvara, and his image signifies the cooperative interdependent, separately incomplete but jointly complete masculine and feminine functions of the supreme being. There is nothing unwholesome or guilty about the sex life. Through the institution of marriage it is made the basis of intellectual and moral intimacies. Marriage is not so much a concession to human weakness as a means of spiritual growth. It is prescribed for the sake of the development of personality as well as the continuance of the family ideal. Marriage has this social side. Every family is a partnership between the living and the dead.   

Śiva is ardhanāriśvara, and his image signifies the cooperative interdependent, separately incomplete but jointly complete masculine and feminine functions of the supreme being. There is nothing unwholesome or guilty about the sex life. Through the institution of marriage it is made the basis of intellectual and moral intimacies. Marriage is not so much a concession to human weakness as a means of spiritual growth. It is prescribed for the sake of the development of personality as well as the continuance of the family ideal. Marriage has this social side. Every family is a partnership between the living and the dead.<ref name=":0" />  

This Samskara was well developed and has distinctly found expression in the Rigveda the oldest literary text, as well as Atharvaveda.   

This Samskara was well developed and has distinctly found expression in the Rigveda the oldest literary text, as well as Atharvaveda. It is one Samskara which though performed on the individual, has a direct impact on the society as both husband and wife, as a unit of Grhasthaashrama they support the people of other ashramas namely, [[Brahmacharyashrama (ब्रह्मचर्याश्रमः)|Brahmacharya]], [[Vanaprasthashrama (वानप्रस्थाश्रमः)|Vanaprastha]] and Sanyasa ashramas.   

== Individual Aspects ==

== Institution of Marriage ==

The Hindu ideal emphasizes the individual and the social aspects of the institution of marriage. Man is not a tyrant nor is woman a slave, but both are servants of a higher ideal to which their individual inclinations are to be subordinated. Sensual love is sublimated into self-forgetful devotion. Marriage for the Hindu is a problem and not a datum. Except in the pages of fiction we do not have a pair agreeing with each other in everything, tastes and temper, ideals and interests. Irreducible peculiarities there will always be, and the task of the institution of marriage is to use these differences to promote a harmonious life. Instincts and passions are the raw material which are to be worked up into an ideal whole. Though there is some choice with regard to our mates, there is a large element of chance in the best of marriages. That marriage is successful which transforms a chance mate into a life companion. Marriage is not the end of the struggle, it is but the beginning of a strenuous life where we attempt to realize a larger ideal by subordinating our private interests and inclinations. Seva (सेवा | selfless service) of a common ideal can bind together the most unlike individuals. Love demands its sacrifices. By restraint and endurance, we raise love to the likeness of the divine. In an ideal marriage the genuine interests of the two members are perfectly reconciled, both the husband and wife complementing each other.   

The Hindu ideal emphasizes the individual and the social aspects of the institution of marriage. Marriage has its source in the family, rather than the family in marriage, and the very roots of the permanent union of the sexes are found in parental duties. It was the natural desire of woman for sufficient protection during the critical period of her confinement and for adequate protection of the child in its helpless state of infancy that drove her to select a permanent companion in life. In this selection she was very cautious, as she fully considered the fitness of the man and arrived at a mutual understanding before she gave herself away to him.<ref name=":12" />  

The perfectly ethical marriage is the monogamous one. The relation of Rāma and Sītā, or Sāvitrī and Satyavān, where the two stand by each other against the whole world, is idealized in the Hindu scriptures. In the absence of absolute perfection we have to be content with approximations. We need not, however, confound the higher with the lower.   

Man is not a tyrant nor is woman a slave, but both are servants of a higher ideal to which their individual inclinations are to be subordinated. Sensual love is sublimated into self-forgetful devotion. Marriage for the Hindu is a problem and not a datum. Except in the pages of fiction we do not have a pair agreeing with each other in everything, tastes and temper, ideals and interests. Irreducible peculiarities there will always be, and the task of the institution of marriage is to use these differences to promote a harmonious life. Instincts and passions are the raw material which are to be worked up into an ideal whole. Though there is some choice with regard to our mates, there is a large element of chance in the best of marriages. That marriage is successful which transforms a chance mate into a life companion. Marriage is not the end of the struggle, it is but the beginning of a strenuous life where we attempt to realize a larger ideal by subordinating our private interests and inclinations. Seva (सेवा | selfless service) of a common ideal can bind together the most unlike individuals. Love demands its sacrifices. By restraint and endurance, we raise love to the likeness of the divine.<ref name=":0" /> 

 

For several reasons marriage was held in high esteem among ancient peoples. Doubtless, in rude pastoral, and even agricultural times, economic and social causes were at the basis of this esteem. Large family was a blessing. Marriage was a family affair rather than a personal one; indeed the generation of offspring was the supreme motive of every union to the end that a man’s house or family might not die out. By means of such union, the family was perpetuated, the inheritance of property provided for and the worship of ancestral deities continued. Therefore, celibacy was regarded a serious offence, was attributed the status of a crime in some civilizations.<ref name=":12" />  

== Spiritual Ideal ==

== Spiritual Ideal ==

The recognition of the spiritual ideal of marriage requires us to regard the marriage relation as an indissoluble one. So long as we take a small view of life and adopt for our guide the fancy or feeling of the moment, marriage relation cannot be regarded as permanent. In the first moments of infatuation we look upon our partners as angels from heaven, but soon the wonder wears away, and if we persist in our passion for perfection, we become agitated and often bitter. The unrest is the effect of a false ideal. The perfect relation is to be created and not found. The existence of incompatibility is a challenge to a more vigorous effort. To resort to divorce is to confess defeat. The misfits and the maladjustments are but failures.   

 

 

The recognition of the spiritual ideal of marriage requires us to regard the marriage relation as an indissoluble one. So long as we take a small view of life and adopt for our guide the fancy or feeling of the moment, marriage relation cannot be regarded as permanent. In the first moments of infatuation we look upon our partners as angels from heaven, but soon the wonder wears away, and if we persist in our passion for perfection, we become agitated and often bitter. The unrest is the effect of a false ideal. The perfect relation is to be created and not found. The existence of incompatibility is a challenge to a more vigorous effort. To resort to divorce is to confess defeat. The misfits and the maladjustments are but failures.<ref name=":0" />  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taittirīyasaṃhitā (6.3.10.5) says that a Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts and the debts of sages and forefathers have to be cleared by performing Yajñas (sacrifices) and producing children –<blockquote>जायमानो ह वै ब्राह्मणस्त्रिभिर्ऋणवान् जायते ब्रह्मचर्येण ऋषिभ्यः यज्ञेन देवेभ्यः प्रजया पितृभ्यः एष वा अनृणो यः पुत्री यज्वा ब्रह्मचारिवासी . . . jāyamāno ha vai brāhmaṇastribhirṛṇavān jāyate brahmacaryeṇa ṛṣibhyaḥ yajñena devebhyaḥ prajayā pitṛbhyaḥ eṣa vā anṛṇo yaḥ putrī yajvā brahmacārivāsī . . .</blockquote>A Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts – he has to clear the debt of sages through [[Brahmacharya (ब्रह्मचर्यम्)|Brahmacharya]] (celibacy), that of deities / Gods through [[Yajna (यज्ञः)|Yajñas]] (sacrifices) and that of forefathers through producing children. Therefore the Brāhmaṇa would be debtless if he has children, performs sacrifices and maintains Brahmacharya.

Taittirīyasaṃhitā (6.3.10.5) says that a Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts and the debts of sages and forefathers have to be cleared by performing Yajñas (sacrifices) and producing children –<blockquote>जायमानो ह वै ब्राह्मणस्त्रिभिर्ऋणवान् जायते ब्रह्मचर्येण ऋषिभ्यः यज्ञेन देवेभ्यः प्रजया पितृभ्यः एष वा अनृणो यः पुत्री यज्वा ब्रह्मचारिवासी . . . jāyamāno ha vai brāhmaṇastribhirṛṇavān jāyate brahmacaryeṇa ṛṣibhyaḥ yajñena devebhyaḥ prajayā pitṛbhyaḥ eṣa vā anṛṇo yaḥ putrī yajvā brahmacārivāsī . . .</blockquote>A Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts – he has to clear the debt of sages through [[Brahmacharya (ब्रह्मचर्यम्)|Brahmacharya]] (celibacy), that of deities / Gods through [[Yajna (यज्ञः)|Yajñas]] (sacrifices) and that of forefathers through producing children. Therefore the Brāhmaṇa would be debtless if he has children, performs sacrifices and maintains Brahmacharya.

==Bride and bridegroom==

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

===Bride and bridegroom===

The bride and the groom in general should be free from bodily ailments, agreeable name, good gait and delicate limbs and must be of a good family and faultless lineage. The following factors are evaluated in choosing a bride or groom.

The bride and the groom in general should be free from bodily ailments, agreeable name, good gait and delicate limbs and must be of a good family and faultless lineage. The following factors are evaluated in choosing a bride or groom.

#'''Biological factors''' - certain body structure, defects, virility etc

#'''Biological factors''' - certain body structure, defects, virility etc

As per the ancient Gṛhyasūtras and Dharmasūtras the girls were married around the time of puberty. Having brothers (sabhrātṛkā) is a must for a girl to be married, although some conditional procedure is offered for a girl without a brother (abhrātṛkā).

As per the ancient Gṛhyasūtras and Dharmasūtras the girls were married around the time of puberty. Having brothers (sabhrātṛkā) is a must for a girl to be married, although some conditional procedure is offered for a girl without a brother (abhrātṛkā).

===The Bride===

====The Bride====

 

Āpastambagṛhyasūtram prescribes the qualifications of a girl –<blockquote>बन्धुशीललक्षणसम्पन्नाम् अरोगाम् उपयच्छेत्। आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम् ,३.१९॥ bandhuśīlalakṣaṇasampannām arogām upayacchet। Āpastambagṛhyasūtram 3.19॥</blockquote>A girl having good relatives, virtues like obedience, auspicious physical characteristics and healthy should be married.

Āpastambagṛhyasūtram prescribes the qualifications of a girl –<blockquote>बन्धुशीललक्षणसम्पन्नाम् अरोगाम् उपयच्छेत्। आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम् ,३.१९॥ bandhuśīlalakṣaṇasampannām arogām upayacchet। Āpastambagṛhyasūtram 3.19॥</blockquote>A girl having good relatives, virtues like obedience, auspicious physical characteristics and healthy should be married.

Here health means not having incurable disease like leprosy.

Here health means not having incurable disease like leprosy.

===The Bridegroom===

====The Bridegroom====

Āpastamba clearly states the qualifications of a good bridegroom:

Āpastamba clearly states the qualifications of a good bridegroom:

Here health means without any incurable disease like leprosy.

Here health means without any incurable disease like leprosy.

===Deciding a Bride===

====Deciding a Bride====

 

Āpastamba (and others) offers an easy way of selecting a bride –<blockquote>यस्यां मनश्चक्षुषोः निबन्धः तस्याम् ऋद्धिः नेतरत् आद्रियेत इत्येके। आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम् ३.२१॥ yasyāṃ manaścakṣuṣoḥ nibandhaḥ tasyām ṛddhiḥ netarat ādriyeta ityeke । ibid. 3.21॥</blockquote>In which girl the mind and eyes get fixed, i.e. the girl liked by mind and eyes of bridegroom, is good as a wife and there will be all round prosperity. Some sages say that if that is the case then the other qualifications need not be given much importance.

Āpastamba (and others) offers an easy way of selecting a bride –<blockquote>यस्यां मनश्चक्षुषोः निबन्धः तस्याम् ऋद्धिः नेतरत् आद्रियेत इत्येके। आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम् ३.२१॥ yasyāṃ manaścakṣuṣoḥ nibandhaḥ tasyām ṛddhiḥ netarat ādriyeta ityeke । ibid. 3.21॥</blockquote>In which girl the mind and eyes get fixed, i.e. the girl liked by mind and eyes of bridegroom, is good as a wife and there will be all round prosperity. Some sages say that if that is the case then the other qualifications need not be given much importance.

Needless to say marriage between a bride and groom belonging to the same caste (in Spanish "Custa" means "group") such as Brāhmaṇa, Kṣatriya, Vaiśya etc. is recommended.

Needless to say marriage between a bride and groom belonging to the same caste (in Spanish "Custa" means "group") such as Brāhmaṇa, Kṣatriya, Vaiśya etc. is recommended.

==Eight Kinds of Marriages==

===Matching of horoscopes===

Eight different kinds of marriages are recognized in the Hindu law books. Manu did not shut his eyes to the practices of his contemporaries. He arranges the different kinds of marriages in an order. While marriages in which personal inclination is subordinated rank high, those by mutual choice (gāndharva), force (rākṣasa), purchase (āsura) come lower. The lowest is paiśāca. When the lover ravishes a maiden without her consent, when she is asleep, or intoxicated or deranged in mind, we have a case of paiśāca marriage.

This tradition has been there in Indian subcontinent since time immemorial. The horoscopes of bride and groom are referred to an astrologer (Jyautiṣika) who, in turn would advise whether the pair would make a good couple or not. The Jyautiṣika would take into consideration aspects such as Grahamaitrī (rapport between the lords of Rāśis of bride and groom – this is important for Brāhmaṇas).

Marriages are divided into eight types –<blockquote>ब्राह्मो दैवस्तथैवार्षः प्राजापत्यस्तथासुरः। गान्धर्वो राक्षसश्चैव पैशाचश्चाष्टमोऽधमः॥मनुस्मृतिः ३.२१॥ brāhmo daivastathaivārṣaḥ prājāpatyastathāsuraḥ. gāndharvo rākṣasaścaiva paiśācaścāṣṭamo'dhamaḥ॥Manusmṛtiḥ 3.21॥</blockquote>Brāhma, Daiva, Ārṣa, Prājāpatya, Āsura, Gāndharva, Rākṣasa and Paiśāca are the eight kinds of marriages and the last one, i.e. Paiśāca is condemned.

'''Kujadoṣa (the defect of Mars placed in wrong house)''': This is a very important aspect in terms of compatibility between the horoscopes of bride and groom –<blockquote>धने व्यये च पाताळे जामित्रे चाष्टमे कुजे। स्त्रीणां भर्तृविनाशः स्यात् पुंसां भार्याविनाशनम्॥ अगस्त्यसंहिता॥ dhane vyaye ca pātāle jāmitre cāṣṭame kuje । strīṇāṃ bhartṛvināśaḥ syāt puṃsāṃ bhāryāvināśanam॥ Agastyasaṃhitā॥</blockquote>If Kuja (Mars) is placed in second, fourth, seventh, eighth or twelfth house (it is called Kujadoṣa) of the bride then it would cause the death of the groom and vice versa. The above said houses are to be counted from Lagna (ascendant), Rāśi (the house in which Moon is situated) and Śukra (Venus). However the Kujadoṣa gets nullified if there is any of the three relations of Guru (Jupiter) with Kuja, i.e. Parivartana (swapping of houses by Guru and Kuja), or association (both Guru and Kuja in the same house) or aspect of Guru to Kuja (Guru has fifth, seventh and ninth aspects). Similarly for those who are born in Kuja's own houses, i.e. Meṣa (Aries) and Vṛścika (Scorpio), Mitrakṣetra (friend's house), i.e. Simha (Leo) of Ravi (Sun), Mīna (Pisces) and Dhanus (Sagittarius) of Guru, Karkaṭaka (Cancer) of Candra (Moon), Uccakṣetra (zenith) i.e. Makara (Capricorn) – Kujadoṣa is nullified –<blockquote>अर्केन्दुक्षेत्रजातानां कुजदोषो न विद्यते। स्वोच्चमित्रभजातानां पीडको न भवेत्कुजः॥ देवकेरळम् ॥ arkendukṣetrajātānāṃ kujadoṣo na vidyate । svoccamitrabhajātānāṃ pīḍako na bhavetkujaḥ॥ Devakeraḷam ॥</blockquote>Further, there will be compatibility if Kujadoṣa is there in the horoscopes of both the bride and groom.

Here is an explanation of the eight forms of marriage:

While fixing the Muhūrta (auspicious time) for marriage one has to take care of the conditions such as Jāmitraśuddhi (either no graha (ग्रह) in the seventh house from Lagnam / ascendant or there is Śubhagraha / auspicious graha in that house) etc. that are prescribed in the works on Jyotiṣam such as Kālāmṛtam, Muhūrtacintāmaṇi etc.

*'''Brāhmavivāha''': Inviting a bridegroom, who is a scholar in Veda and Vedāṅgas etc. to bride's house, worshipping him as per the capacity and offering the girl.

===Auspicious time for marriage===

 

*'''Daivavivāha''': A Ṛtvik (priest), who pleased his Yajamāna (the master) of the Yajña etc., by his priesthood, is offered ornaments, clothes etc., worshipped as per the capacity and offered the girl.

 

*'''Ārṣavivāha''': Having received a pair (or two) of cows, i.e. a cow and an ox, from the bridegroom as a token, the girl is offered.

 

*'''Prājāpatyavivāha''': The donor of the bride says to the groom: "I offer you my girl, both of you should perform the auspicious rites and have good offspring", worships him and offers the girl.

 

*'''Āsuravivāha''': Having paid some amount to bride's party, the groom weds the girl either in bride's house or elsewhere, with his own expenditure.

 

*'''Rākṣasavivāha''': Marrying forcibly a scared girl after threatening her by several means.

The above is just the division of the marriages that were taking place in the society. Among the eight Brāhma, Daiva and Prājāpatya are considered as the best as the donor of bride (Kanyādātā) personally gathers information about the groom and proceeds depending on the virtues.

==Purpose of Marriage==

==Auspicious time for marriage==

Āpastamba rules that all the auspicious stars mentioned in Jyotiṣam (Astrology) have to be taken for marriage –

Āpastamba rules that all the auspicious stars mentioned in Jyotiṣam (Astrology) have to be taken for marriage –

For want of space many more details related to Jyotiṣam with regard to marriage are not being provided but a few. The strength of Guru (Jupiter), who thwarts a hundred thousand defects and Śukra (Venus) who thwarts ten thousand defects is important.

For want of space many more details related to Jyotiṣam with regard to marriage are not being provided but a few. The strength of Guru (Jupiter), who thwarts a hundred thousand defects and Śukra (Venus) who thwarts ten thousand defects is important.

'''Kujadoṣa (the defect of Mars placed in wrong house)''': This is a very important aspect in terms of compatibility between the horoscopes of bride and groom –<blockquote>धने व्यये च पाताळे जामित्रे चाष्टमे कुजे। स्त्रीणां भर्तृविनाशः स्यात् पुंसां भार्याविनाशनम्॥ अगस्त्यसंहिता॥ dhane vyaye ca pātāle jāmitre cāṣṭame kuje । strīṇāṃ bhartṛvināśaḥ syāt puṃsāṃ bhāryāvināśanam॥ Agastyasaṃhitā॥</blockquote>If Kuja (Mars) is placed in second, fourth, seventh, eighth or twelfth house (it is called Kujadoṣa) of the bride then it would cause the death of the groom and vice versa. The above said houses are to be counted from Lagna (ascendant), Rāśi (the house in which Moon is situated) and Śukra (Venus). However the Kujadoṣa gets nullified if there is any of the three relations of Guru (Jupiter) with Kuja, i.e. Parivartana (swapping of houses by Guru and Kuja), or association (both Guru and Kuja in the same house) or aspect of Guru to Kuja (Guru has fifth, seventh and ninth aspects). Similarly for those who are born in Kuja's own houses, i.e. Meṣa (Aries) and Vṛścika (Scorpio), Mitrakṣetra (friend's house), i.e. Simha (Leo) of Ravi (Sun), Mīna (Pisces) and Dhanus (Sagittarius) of Guru, Karkaṭaka (Cancer) of Candra (Moon), Uccakṣetra (zenith) i.e. Makara (Capricorn) – Kujadoṣa is nullified –<blockquote>अर्केन्दुक्षेत्रजातानां कुजदोषो न विद्यते। स्वोच्चमित्रभजातानां पीडको न भवेत्कुजः॥ देवकेरळम् ॥ arkendukṣetrajātānāṃ kujadoṣo na vidyate । svoccamitrabhajātānāṃ pīḍako na bhavetkujaḥ॥ Devakeraḷam ॥</blockquote>Further, there will be compatibility if Kujadoṣa is there in the horoscopes of both the bride and groom.

*'''Madhuparka''': Literally it means "pouring honey". While receiving the bridegroom at the bride's house, honey etc. are offered just to honour the groom's party.

*'''Parasparavīkṣaṇam''': It means looking at each other. Just before the Muhūrta (fixed auspicious time) a piece of cloth is held between the bride and groom. At the time of Muhūrta the bride and groom look at each other while the groom recites a hymn (Ṛk – "abhrātṛghnīm"). Maṇgalāṣṭakas (auspicious verses such as "tadeva lagnam sudinam tadeva") are recited while the interposed cloth is held.

*Madhuparka: Literally it means "pouring honey". While receiving the bridegroom at the bride's house, honey etc. are offered just to honour the groom's party.

 

*Parasparavīkṣaṇam: It means looking at each other. Just before the Muhūrta (fixed auspicious time) a piece of cloth is held between the bride and groom. At the time of Muhūrta the bride and groom look at each other while the groom recites a hymn (Ṛk – "abhrātṛghnīm"). Maṇgalāṣṭakas (auspicious verses such as "tadeva lagnam sudinam tadeva") are recited while the interposed cloth is held.

*Kanyādānam (Gift of bride): It is in this rite that the father of the bride tells the bridegroom –<blockquote>धर्मे चार्थे च कामे च त्वया एषा नातिचरितव्या dharme cārthe ca kāme ca tvayā eṣā nāticaritavyā</blockquote>Meaning : You should not ignore this girl in terms of Dharma, Artha (money matters etc.) and Kāma (sex related matters).

*'''Kanyādānam''' (Gift of bride): It is in this rite that the father of the bride tells the bridegroom –<blockquote>धर्मे चार्थे च कामे च त्वया एषा नातिचरितव्या dharme cārthe ca kāme ca tvayā eṣā nāticaritavyā</blockquote>Meaning : You should not ignore this girl in terms of Dharma, Artha (money matters etc.) and Kāma (sex related matters).

Hereafter the bride is called Patnī / Bhāryā / Sahadharmacāriṇī while the bridegroom is called Pati / Bhartā etc. Together both are called Dampatī.

Hereafter the bride is called Patnī / Bhāryā / Sahadharmacāriṇī while the bridegroom is called Pati / Bhartā etc. Together both are called Dampatī.

This is popularly referred to as दम्पत्योः सहाधिकारात् | dampatyoḥ sahādhikārāt meaning Since the wife and husband have to do things together.

This is popularly referred to as दम्पत्योः सहाधिकारात् | dampatyoḥ sahādhikārāt meaning Since the wife and husband have to do things together.

Pāṇini (4.1.33) also confirms the above said aspect –

Pāṇini (4.1.33) also confirms the above said aspect – पत्युर्नो यज्ञसंयोगे patyurno yajñasaṃyoge

 

 

Patnī (wife) is a word produced on the root Pati (husband) if both of them together perform the rites.

*'''Aśmārohaṇa''': The Patnī is made to tread on a millstone. The above three, viz. lājahoma, agnipariṇayana and aśmārohaṇa are done thrice, one after the other.

*Pāṇigrahaṇam and Pradhānahoma: Pāṇigrahaṇam (marriage) literally means "holding the hand" (of Patnī by Pati). "Pradhānahoma" is the principal fire for oblations (later there will be "Śeṣahoma" or remaining fire oblations). After holding Patnī's hand Pati combinedly performs the homa.

 

*'''Saptapadī''': Literally it means a rite in which the Patnī is made by Pati to walk seven steps.

*'''Gṛhapraveśa''': After Saptapadī the Pati takes Patnī to his house while reciting the following Mantras, which are significant –<blockquote>. . . मूर्धानं पत्युरारोह प्रजया च विराड् भव। सम्राज्ञी श्वशुरे भव सम्राज्ञी श्वश्व्रां भव ननान्दरि सम्राज्ञी भव। . . . mūrdhānaṃ patyurāroha prajayā ca virāḍ bhava । samrājñī śvaśure bhava samrājñī śvaśvrāṃ bhava nanāndari samrājñī bhava ।</blockquote>You sit on the head of your husband, i.e. be important (like the head for body) for me, have good number of children (ten children are the limit), be loved by father-in-law, mother-in-law, sister-in-law etc., i.e. maintain good relation with all of them.

 

There is Homa (oblation in fire) at the time of Gṛhapraveśa.

*'''Dhruvārundhatīdarśanam''': While reciting some Mantras, the Pati shows both the stars, viz. Dhruva and Arundhatī to Patnī at night on the day of marriage.

*Lājahoma: Patnī offers fried grain (lājas) in fire for three times while Mantras are being recited.

*'''Āgneyasthālīpāka''': Both, Patnī and Pati cook rice in a vessel and offer to fire (Agni) with Mantras. Patnī pounds the paddy and the Pati would see through cooking. After putting down the rice-vessel on Kuśas (holy grass) both Pati and Patnī, touching each other, have to offer the cooked rice as oblation to the fire, while Mantras are being recited. The rice is to be sprinkled with clarified butter (Abhighāra) twice, when the vessel is still on the hearth and after it is put down. In this rite Agni (fire) is the Devatā (deity). Sthālī is vessel and Pāka is cooking. So it is called Āgneyasthālīpāka.

*Agnipariṇayanam: It means going around the fire. Reciting some Mantras the Pati along with Patnī makes Pradakṣiṇam around the fire and the water jar.

*'''Maṅgalasūtradhāraṇam''': Tying an auspicious string with golden beads around the neck of Patnī by Pati. Maṅgalasūtram (the auspicious string) is considered important for a Patnī whose husband is alive. It is also a sign of a married woman.

*Aśmārohaṇa: The Patnī is made to tread on a millstone. The above three, viz. lājahoma, agnipariṇayana and aśmārohaṇa are done thrice, one after the other.

It is important to present further discussion on

*Saptapadī: Literally it means a rite in which the Patnī is made by Pati to walk seven steps. According to tradition friendship is established between people by walking seven steps together or speaking seven words  with each other –<blockquote>साप्तपदीनं सख्यम् (पाणिनिसूत्रम् ५.२.२) sāptapadīnaṃ sakhyam (pāṇinisūtram 5.2.2)  सख्यं साप्तपदीनं स्यात् (अमरकोशः २.८.१२) sakhyaṃ sāptapadīnaṃ syāt (amarakośaḥ 2.8.12)</blockquote>This is a very important aspect of marriage. After completing the seven steps together with Pati, the Patnī would lose her father's Gotram (origin of inheritance from a sage) and needless to say would attain the Gotram of her Pati –<blockquote>स्वगोत्रात् भ्रश्यते नारी विवाहात् सप्तमे पदे (स्मृतिः) svagotrāt bhraśyate nārī vivāhāt saptame pade (smṛtiḥ)</blockquote>The bride would lose her Gotram in the seventh step in the marriage. Āpastamba clearly explains the procedure of Saptapadī –<blockquote>अथैनामुत्तरेणाग्निं दक्षिणेन पदा प्राचीमुदीचीं वा दिशम् अभिप्रक्रमयति एकमिष इति ॥ (आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम्, ४.१५)</blockquote><blockquote>athaināmuttareṇāgniṃ dakṣiṇena padā prācīmudīcīṃ vā diśam abhiprakramayati ekamiṣa iti ॥ (Āpastambagṛhyasūtram, 4.15)</blockquote>After Pāṇigrahaṇam, a cloth has to be spread on the north side of the fire in such a way that the end-part of the cloth is left in the east or north, rice is to be put on the cloth and the Pati makes the Patnī walk along on the rice towards east or north for seven steps placing the right foot first.

According to tradition friendship is established between people by walking seven steps together or speaking seven words  with each other –<blockquote>साप्तपदीनं सख्यम् (पाणिनिसूत्रम् ५.२.२) sāptapadīnaṃ sakhyam (pāṇinisūtram 5.2.2)  सख्यं साप्तपदीनं स्यात् (अमरकोशः २.८.१२) sakhyaṃ sāptapadīnaṃ syāt (amarakośaḥ 2.8.12)</blockquote>This is a very important aspect of marriage. After completing the seven steps together with Pati, the Patnī would lose her father's Gotram (origin of inheritance from a sage) and needless to say would attain the Gotram of her Pati –<blockquote>स्वगोत्रात् भ्रश्यते नारी विवाहात् सप्तमे पदे (स्मृतिः) svagotrāt bhraśyate nārī vivāhāt saptame pade (smṛtiḥ)</blockquote>The bride would lose her Gotram in the seventh step in the marriage. Āpastamba clearly explains the procedure of Saptapadī –<blockquote>अथैनामुत्तरेणाग्निं दक्षिणेन पदा प्राचीमुदीचीं वा दिशम् अभिप्रक्रमयति एकमिष इति ॥ (आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम्, ४.१५)</blockquote><blockquote>athaināmuttareṇāgniṃ dakṣiṇena padā prācīmudīcīṃ vā diśam abhiprakramayati ekamiṣa iti ॥ (Āpastambagṛhyasūtram, 4.15)</blockquote>After Pāṇigrahaṇam, a cloth has to be spread on the north side of the fire in such a way that the end-part of the cloth is left in the east or north, rice is to be put on the cloth and the Pati makes the Patnī walk along on the rice towards east or north for seven steps placing the right foot first.

At every step the Pati recites a specific Mantra –

At every step the Pati recites a specific Mantra –

The Pati pronounces the Mantra starting "sakhā saptapadā" after the Patnī is on the seventh step.

The Pati pronounces the Mantra starting "sakhā saptapadā" after the Patnī is on the seventh step.

The following (portion of) Mantra is recited by the Pati when the Patnī is on her seventh step:<blockquote>सखा सप्तपदा भव। सखायौ सप्तपदा बभूव। सख्यं ते गमेयम्। सख्यात्ते मा योषम्। सख्यान्मे मा योष्ठाः। समयाव सङ्कल्पावहै। संप्रियौ रोचिष्णू सुमनस्यमानौ . . . ।</blockquote><blockquote>sakhā saptapadā bhava । sakhāyau saptapadā babhūva । sakhyaṃ te gameyam. sakhyātte mā yoṣam । sakhyānme mā yoṣṭhāḥ । samayāva saṅkalpāvahai. saṃpriyau rociṣṇū sumanasyamānau . . . ।</blockquote>O! my wife, who made seven steps! Be a friend of mine; you who made seven steps, and me, both of us became friends. I got friendship and hereafter I would not part with you, do not part from me. Let us be together; let us take common decisions in household matters; let us have mutual affection; let us shine by mutual dependence and let us be with good minds . . .

The following (portion of) Mantra is recited by the Pati when the Patnī is on her seventh step:<blockquote>सखा सप्तपदा भव। सखायौ सप्तपदा बभूव। सख्यं ते गमेयम्। सख्यात्ते मा योषम्। सख्यान्मे मा योष्ठाः। समयाव सङ्कल्पावहै। संप्रियौ रोचिष्णू सुमनस्यमानौ . . . । sakhā saptapadā bhava । sakhāyau saptapadā babhūva । sakhyaṃ te gameyam. sakhyātte mā yoṣam । sakhyānme mā yoṣṭhāḥ । samayāva saṅkalpāvahai. saṃpriyau rociṣṇū sumanasyamānau . . . ।</blockquote>O! my wife, who made seven steps! Be a friend of mine; you who made seven steps, and me, both of us became friends. I got friendship and hereafter I would not part with you, do not part from me. Let us be together; let us take common decisions in household matters; let us have mutual affection; let us shine by mutual dependence and let us be with good minds . . .

 

 

 

*Maṅgalasūtradhāraṇam: Tying an auspicious string with golden beads around the neck of Patnī by Pati. Maṅgalasūtram (the auspicious string) is considered important for a Patnī whose husband is alive. It is also a sign of a married woman.

==Ardhāṅgī==

==Ardhāṅgī==

The term is used to mean Patnī (wife). Literally it means "half of the body (of Pati)". This aspect is clearly stated in Veda itself:

The term is used to mean Patnī (wife). Literally it means "half of the body (of Pati)". This aspect is clearly stated in Veda itself: