Grhasthashrama (गृहस्थाश्रमः)

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Refer Uma Shankara Samvada

Eligibility to Grhasthashrama

According to Manusmrti,

वेदानधीत्य वेदौ वा वेदं वापि यथाक्रमम् । अविप्लुतब्रह्मचर्यो गृहस्थाश्रमं आवसेत् । । ३.२ । ।

vedānadhītya vedau vā vedaṁ vāpi yathākramam । aviplutabrahmacaryo gr̥hasthāśramaṁ āvaset । । 3.2 । ।

Meaning: (A student) who has studied in due order all the Vedas, or two, or even one only, without breaking the (rules of) studentship, shall enter the order of householders.

गृहस्थधर्मः ॥ Grhastha Dharma

Mahabharata, Anushasana Parva, Danadharma upaparva contains the details about how a grhastha in different varnas should conduct themselves and the qualities that should be cultured by every grhastha in the Uma Maheshvara Samvada.

गृहस्थलक्षणानि ॥ Qualities of a Grhastha

अहिंसा सत्यवचनं सर्वभूतानुकम्पनम्। शमो दानं यथाशक्ति गार्हस्थ्यो धर्म उत्तमः॥ (Maha. Anush. Parv. 141.25)

Maheshvara explains - Ahimsa (refraining from harming any being), speaking satya (truth), compassion towards all creatures, practicing shama (control of mind and indriyas or sense organs) and giving unto others as per one's capacity (dana) are the greatest dharmas to be followed by a grhastha. The Bhagavata Purana says,

सुशीलो मितभुग्दक्षः श्रद्दधानो जितेन्द्रियः । यावदर्थं व्यवहरेत्स्त्रीषु स्त्रीनिर्जितेषु च ॥ ६॥

suśīlo mitabhugdakṣaḥ śraddadhāno jitendriyaḥ । yāvadarthaṁ vyavaharetstrīṣu strīnirjiteṣu ca ॥ 6॥

Meaning: He should be of a good character, moderate in eating, alert and prompt (in work), of reverential faith in shastras and self-controlled. It is only when absolutely necessary and to that much extent only that he should deal with women (eg. for getting alms) or with those who are influenced by women.

Conduct of a Grhastha

परदारेष्वसंसर्गो न्यासस्त्रीपरिरक्षणम्। अदत्तादानविरमो मधुमांसस्य वर्जनम् ॥

एष पञ्चविधो धर्मो बहुशाखः सुखोदयः। देहिभिर्धर्मपरमैश्र्वर्तव्यो धर्मसम्भवः॥ (Maha. Anush. Parv. 141.26-27)

Refraining from seeking other person's wife, protecting ladies and those under his care, not taking any thing from other's (in the form of charity) without first giving, not consuming meat and liquor - these are five kinds of dharmas that lead one to happiness. Each of these five dharmas further lead into many branches. Those who hold dharma in high position always follow such dharma for the sake of earning punya (merits).

Panchamahayajnas

A householder uses five things frequently in his daily life viz. the hearth (floor of fire place), the grinding-stone, the broom, the pestle and mortar and the water-vessel. And while doing so he incurs papa (पापम्) since each of these five are potentially harmful for small living organisms that are invisible to the naked eyes. Hence, they are called slaughter-houses. In order to successively expiate the offences committed by means of all these five tools, the great sages have prescribed for householders the daily performance of the five great sacrifices. (Manu. 3.68 and 69) It is said,

स्वाध्यायेनार्चयेत र्षीन्होमैर्देवान्यथाविधि । पितॄञ् श्राद्धैश्च नॄनन्नैर्भूतानि बलिकर्मणा । । ३.८१ । ।

svādhyāyenārcayeta rṣīnhomairdevānyathāvidhi । pitr̥̄ñ śrāddhaiśca nr̥̄nannairbhūtāni balikarmaṇā । । 3.81 । ।

Meaning: Let him (the Grhastha) worship, according to the rule, the sages by the self study/recitation of the Veda, the gods by burnt oblations, the manes by funeral offerings (Shraddha), men by (gifts of) food, and the Bhutas by the Bali offering.

ब्रह्मयज्ञः ॥

Also called as Ahuta, it refers to the sacrifice offered to the brahman in the form of teaching and studying the vedas - अध्यापनं ब्रह्मयज्ञः | adhyāpanaṁ brahmayajñaḥ. Here, the offering is not given into the fire, rather it is in the form of chanting of vedic texts - जपोऽहुतो | japo'huto | (Manu 3.70 and 3.74)

पितृयज्ञः ॥

Also called as Prashita, it refers to the sacrifice to pitrus done with the offerings of water and food called tarpana - पितृयज्ञस्तु तर्पणम् । pitr̥yajñastu tarpaṇam. The term Prashita literally means 'eaten'. It is a daily oblation to Pitrus - प्राशितं पितृतर्पणम् । prāśitaṁ pitr̥tarpaṇam । (Manu 3.70 and 3.74)

देवयज्ञः ॥

Also called as Huta ( होमो दैवो | homo daivo), Devayajna refers to the burnt oblation offered in the sacrifice to the gods - हुतो होमः | huto homaḥ | (Manu 3.70 and 3.74)

भूतयज्ञः ॥

Bhuta Yajna is also called as Prahuta - प्रहुतो भौतिको बलिः । prahuto bhautiko baliḥ । It refers to the Bali offering given to the Bhutas - बलिर्भौतो | balirbhauto | (Manu 3.70 and 3.74)

नृयज्ञः ॥

Also called Brahmya-huta, the respectful reception of guests - ब्राह्म्यं हुतं द्विजाग्र्यार्चा | brāhmyaṁ hutaṁ dvijāgryārcāis |, the Nruyajna refers to the hospitality offered to guests - नृयज्ञोऽतिथिपूजनम् | nr̥yajño'tithipūjanam । (Manu 3.70 and 3.74)

According to Manusmrti, an oblation duly offered into the fire, reaches the sun; from the sun comes rain, from rain food, there from the living creatures derive their subsistence (3.76) Hence, it says,

स्वाध्याये नित्ययुक्तः स्याद्दैवे चैवेह कर्मणि । दैवकर्मणि युक्तो हि बिभर्तीदं चराचरम् । । ३.७५ । ।

पञ्चैतान्यो महाअयज्ञान्न हापयति शक्तितः । स गृहेऽपि वसन्नित्यं सूनादोषैर्न लिप्यते । । ३.७१ । ।

देवतातिथिभृत्यानां पितॄणां आत्मनश्च यः । न निर्वपति पञ्चानां उच्छ्वसन्न स जीवति । । ३.७२ । ।

svādhyāye nityayuktaḥ syāddaive caiveha karmaṇi । daivakarmaṇi yukto hi bibhartīdaṁ carācaram । । 3.75 । ।

pañcaitānyo mahāayajñānna hāpayati śaktitaḥ । sa gr̥he'pi vasannityaṁ sūnādoṣairna lipyate । । 3.71 । ।

devatātithibhr̥tyānāṁ pitr̥̄ṇāṁ ātmanaśca yaḥ । na nirvapati pañcānāṁ ucchvasanna sa jīvati । । 3.72 । ।

Meaning: Let (every man) in this (second order, at least) daily apply himself to the private recitation of the Veda, and also to the performance of the offering to the gods; for he who is diligent in the performance of sacrifices, supports both the movable and the immovable creation. He who neglects not these five great sacrifices, while he is able (to perform them), is not tainted by the papas (committed) in the five places of slaughter, though he constantly lives in the (order of) house holders. But he who does not feed these five, the gods, his guests, those whom he is bound to maintain, the pitrus, and himself, lives not, though he breathes.

कर्तव्यनिवृत्तिः ॥ Retirement from Duties

According to Manusmrti, when one has paid, according to the law, one's debts to the great sages, to the forefathers, and to the gods, one should make over everything to one's son and dwell (in the house), not caring for any worldly concerns. [v.4.257.]

महर्षिपितृदेवानां गत्वानृण्यं यथाविधि । पुत्रे सर्वं समासज्य वसेन्माध्यस्थ्यं आश्रितः । । ४.२५७ । ।

maharṣipitr̥devānāṁ gatvānr̥ṇyaṁ yathāvidhi । putre sarvaṁ samāsajya vasenmādhyasthyaṁ āśritaḥ । । 4.257 । ।

At this stage, one is advised to constantly meditate in solitude on that which is salutary for one's soul; for one who meditates in solitude attains supreme bliss. [v.4.258.]

एकाकी चिन्तयेन्नित्यं विविक्ते हितं आत्मनः । एकाकी चिन्तयानो हि परं श्रेयोऽधिगच्छति । । ४.२५८ । ।

ekākī cintayennityaṁ vivikte hitaṁ ātmanaḥ । ekākī cintayāno hi paraṁ śreyo'dhigacchati । । 4.258 । ।

मोक्षमार्गः ॥ Way to Attain Moksha

In the 14th Adhyaya of the 7th Skandha of the Bhagavata Purana, as Yudhisthira asks, Maharshi Narada explains to him the course of conduct by which a householder will attain moksha without difficulty. He says,

Staying in the household and performing duties such as sandhya, worship and five mahayajnas laid down for a householder as direct offering to Bhagavan Vasudeva without expecting anything in return for it, one should wait upon great sages in order to learn the truth.

Devoutly listening to the nectar-like sweet stories of the avataras of Vishnu during the leisure time after performance of duties, he should constantly be surrounded by persons who are tranquil by nature.

Through companionship with good people, he should gradually release himself from attachment to himself, his wife, his sons etc. which are in the process of being separated from him, and should rise above them like a person awakened from a dream (does in the case of objects seen in the dream).

A wise man should be disinterested in and dispassionate to his body and house, but should attend to it to the extent to which it is indispensible. Simulating attachment to them, a man should transcend his status as an ordinary human being and be a recluse. Or (carry out his duties in life).