Grhasthashrama (गृहस्थाश्रमः)

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Grhasthashrama (Samskrit: गृहस्थाश्रमः) refers to the second of the four stages (ashramas) of life as per the Varnashrama Vyavastha. It is the stage of a householder or Grhastha. This householder stage is entered at marriage, when a student completes his studentship and is ready to take up the duties and responsibilities of householder life.

गृहस्थाश्रमस्य महत्त्वम् ॥ Greatness of Grhasthashrama

Of all the Ashramas, the Grhasthashrama is considered the most important, because it supports all the other ashramas. It is said that, just like all creatures live supported by the air, the other ashramas exist supported by the grhastha; like all streams and rivers flow to rest in the ocean, all the ashramas flow to rest in the grhastha.

ब्रह्मचारी गृहस्थश्च वानप्रस्थो यतिस्तथा । एते गृहस्थप्रभवाश्चत्वारः पृथगाश्रमाः । । ६.८७ । ।

यथा वायुं समाश्रित्य वर्तन्ते सर्वजन्तवः । तथा गृहस्थं आश्रित्य वर्तन्ते सर्व आश्रमाः । । ३.७७ । ।

यथा नदीनदाः सर्वे सागरे यान्ति संस्थितिम् । तथैवाश्रमिणः सर्वे गृहस्थे यान्ति संस्थितिम् । । ६.९० । ।

brahmacārī gr̥hasthaśca vānaprastho yatistathā । ete gr̥hasthaprabhavāścatvāraḥ pr̥thagāśramāḥ । । 6.87 । ।

yathā vāyuṁ samāśritya vartante sarvajantavaḥ । tathā gr̥hasthaṁ āśritya vartante sarva āśramāḥ । । 3.77 । ।

yathā nadīnadāḥ sarve sāgare yānti saṁsthitim । tathaivāśramiṇaḥ sarve gr̥hasthe yānti saṁsthitim । । 6.90 । ।

उमाशङ्करयोः संवादः ॥ Uma Shankara Samvada

Greatness of the Grhasthashrama is described in the conversation between Uma and Shankara occuring in the Anushasana Parva of the Mahabharata. In this dialogue, Uma seeks to know the dharma of ashramas, of the way one ought to lead life at different stages of a lifetime. And Shankara begins his answer to Uma's queries with the unequivocal assertion that of the four ashramas, grhasthashrama is indeed the foremost.

गृहस्थः प्रवरस्तेषां गार्हस्थ्यं धर्ममाश्रितः।.. १३.२०८.४२ gr̥hasthaḥ pravarasteṣāṁ gārhasthyaṁ dharmamāśritaḥ।.. 13.208.42

In fact, dealing with Vanaprasthashrama and Sannyasashrama in just about six and a half verses, Shankara returns to a very detailed description of the grhasthashrama suggesting that his heart seems to be in describing the grhasthashrama dharma for Uma. He says that the core of the discipline of a grhastha is in looking after and generously providing for the sustenance of all. Especially, of the guests who arrive at his door. And this opportunity to look after and sustain others is what makes the grhasthashrama so great that the severest austerities like tapas in cold water and in heat of summer during vanaprasthashrama cannot measure up to even the one-sixteenth part of the merit acquired by properly fulfilling the duties of the grhasthashrama.

सम्यक्तपश्चरन्तीह श्रद्दधाना वनाश्रमे । गृहाश्रमस्य ते देवि कलां नार्हन्ति षोडशीम् ।।१३.२११.३० samyaktapaścarantīha śraddadhānā vanāśrame । gr̥hāśramasya te devi kalāṁ nārhanti ṣoḍaśīm ।।13.211.30

Shankara even provides an expansive listing of the diverse people and other living beings who keep looking up to the grhastha for their livelihood. Thereby, emphasizing on the sustenance that flows from the grhastha in all directions. And concludes by equating the role of grhasthas in the society to protection of mothers. He says,

यथा मातरमाश्रित्य सर्वे जीवन्ति जन्तवः । तथा गृहाश्रमं प्राप्य सर्वे जीवन्ति चाश्रमाः॥१३.२११.४९ yathā mātaramāśritya sarve jīvanti jantavaḥ । tathā gr̥hāśramaṁ prāpya sarve jīvanti cāśramāḥ॥13.211.49

Meaning: Just as all living beings live under the protection of their mothers, so do all the ashramas derive sustenance from the grhasthashrama. It is no wonder that the merit of a grhastha whose labour sustains so much of life on earth is of course great. Hence it is said,

उपयुक्तं च यत्तेषां मतिमान्नानुशोचति ॥१३.२११.५४

धर्म इत्येव सङ्कल्प्य यस्तु तस्य फलं शृणु । सर्वयज्ञप्रणीतस्य हयमेधेन यत्फलम् । वर्षे स द्वादशे देवि फलेनैतेन युज्यते ॥१३.२११.५५

upayuktaṁ ca yatteṣāṁ matimānnānuśocati ॥13.211.54

dharma ityeva saṅkalpya yastu tasya phalaṁ śr̥ṇu । sarvayajñapraṇītasya hayamedhena yatphalam ।

varṣe sa dvādaśe devi phalenaitena yujyate ॥13.211.55

Meaning: Listen to the virtue earned by the one who does not spare a second thought for what has been used up by men and other living beings that look up to him for sustenance, and who knows that sustaining them is indeed his dharma. Such a one, having fulfilled the dharma of grhasthashrama for twelve years, attains the merit that accrues to those who perform an ashvamedha after having first accomplished all other yajnas.

Such is the glory of grhasthashrama. And such are the yajnas of the grhastha, that sustain the whole world day after day.

गृहस्थाश्रमस्य अधिकारः ॥ Eligibility to Grhasthashrama

The Manusmrti states that a student who has studied, in due course, three Vedas, two Vedas or one Veda, enters the state of the householder having never deviated from the vows of brahmacharya (studentship).

वेदानधीत्य वेदौ वा वेदं वापि यथाक्रमम् । अविप्लुतब्रह्मचर्यो गृहस्थाश्रमं आवसेत् । । ३.२ । । vedānadhītya vedau vā vedaṁ vāpi yathākramam । aviplutabrahmacaryo gr̥hasthāśramaṁ āvaset । । 3.2 । ।

गृहस्थधर्मः ॥ Grhastha Dharma

The Itihasas, Smrti texts as well as the Puranas delineate how grhasthas of different varnas should conduct themselves and the qualities that should be cultured by every grhastha. Dharmas of a grhastha as described in the Mahabharata (Shanti Parva and Anushasana Parva) include,

• Observing the Pancha Mahayajnas.

• Cultivating outer and inner purity.

• Always loving one's wife and staying away from other's women.

• Being happy with one's own wife and approaching her for conjugal pleasure at the right time alone.

• Nourishing one's wife and children.

• Nourishing the dependent class.

• Being compasionate towards the poor.

• Engaging in dana.

• Being engrossed in yajna.

• Doing tapasya.

• Engaging in Svadhyaya (study) of vedas along with Agnihotra.

• Following the rules of Vrata and Upavasa.

... पञ्चयज्ञक्रियाशौचं दारतुष्टिरतन्द्रिता ।।१३.२०८.४२ ऋतुकालाभिगमनं दानयज्ञतपांसि च । अविप्रवासस्तस्येष्टः स्वाध्यायश्वाग्निपूर्वकम् ।।१३.२०८.४३

व्रतोपवासनियमस्तपो दानं च शक्तितः । भरणं भृत्यवर्गस्य दीनानामनुकम्पनम् ।।१३.२११.४५ परदारान्निवृत्तिश्च स्वदारेषु रतिः सदा ।...१३.२११.४६

भरणं पुत्रदाराणां वेदानां चानुपालनम् । सेवतामाश्रमं श्रेष्ठं वदन्ति परमर्षयः ।।१२.६०.१५

... pañcayajñakriyāśaucaṁ dāratuṣṭiratandritā ।।13.208.42

r̥tukālābhigamanaṁ dānayajñatapāṁsi ca । avipravāsastasyeṣṭaḥ svādhyāyaśvāgnipūrvakam ।।13.208.43

vratopavāsaniyamastapo dānaṁ ca śaktitaḥ । bharaṇaṁ bhr̥tyavargasya dīnānāmanukampanam ।।13.211.45

paradārānnivr̥ttiśca svadāreṣu ratiḥ sadā ।...13.211.46

bharaṇaṁ putradārāṇāṁ vedānāṁ cānupālanam । sevatāmāśramaṁ śreṣṭhaṁ vadanti paramarṣayaḥ ।।12.60.15

गृहस्थगुणाः ॥ Qualities of a Grhastha

The Mahabharata states that completing the study of Vedas and observing the auspicious karmas given in the Vedas, the one who gives birth to his offspring through his wedded wife and upholds the garhasthya dharma that entails duties akin to that of ascetics is the best.

अधीत्य वेदान्कृतसर्वकृत्यः संतानमुत्पाद्य सुखानि भुक्त्वा। समाहितः प्रचरेद्दुश्चरं तं गार्हस्थ्यधर्मं मुनिधर्मजुष्टम्।।१२.६०.१० adhītya vedānkr̥tasarvakr̥tyaḥ saṁtānamutpādya sukhāni bhuktvā। samāhitaḥ pracaredduścaraṁ taṁ gārhasthyadharmaṁ munidharmajuṣṭam।।12.60.10

The Manusmrti also iterates that among the brahmachari (student), grhastha (householder), Vanaprasthi (hermit) and the Sannyasi (renunciate), the grhastha is declared to be the best as he supports the other three.

सर्वेषां अपि चैतेषां वेदस्मृतिविधानतः । गृहस्थ उच्यते श्रेष्ठः स त्रीनेतान्बिभर्ति हि । । ६.८९ । । sarveṣāṁ api caiteṣāṁ vedasmr̥tividhānataḥ । gr̥hastha ucyate śreṣṭhaḥ sa trīnetānbibharti hi । । 6.89 । ।

According to the Bhagavata Purana, a grhastha should be of a good character, moderate in eating, alert and prompt (in work), of reverential faith in shastras and self-controlled. It states that only when absolutely necessary and to that much extent only that a grhastha should deal with women (eg. for getting bhiksha) or with those who are influenced by women.

सुशीलो मितभुग्दक्षः श्रद्दधानो जितेन्द्रियः । यावदर्थं व्यवहरेत्स्त्रीषु स्त्रीनिर्जितेषु च ॥ ६॥ suśīlo mitabhugdakṣaḥ śraddadhāno jitendriyaḥ । yāvadarthaṁ vyavaharetstrīṣu strīnirjiteṣu ca ॥ 6॥

The Mahabharata mentions that only that grhastha is considered righteous who purifies his mind by performing the Panchamahayajnas, who always speaks the truth, who does not see fault in others, gives dana, honours brahmanas, who keeps his house spic and span, gives up his pride, is always straightforward, speaks lovingly, puts his mind in serving guests and visitors, partakes the food of yajnas and offers as per shastras padya, arghya, seat, cot, light and place to stay for a guest.

पञ्चयज्ञविशुद्धात्मा ऋतुनित्योऽनसूयकः। दान्तो ब्राह्मणसत्कर्ता सुसंमृष्टनिवेशनः।।१३.२११.१२

चक्षुःश्रोत्रमनोजिह्वास्निग्धवर्णप्रदः सदा। अतिथ्यभ्यागतरतः शेषान्नकृतभोजनः।।१३.२११.१३

पाद्यमर्घ्यं यथान्यायमासनं शयनं तथा। दीपं प्रतिश्रयं चैव यो ददाति स धार्मिकः।।१३.२११.१४

pañcayajñaviśuddhātmā r̥tunityo'nasūyakaḥ। dānto brāhmaṇasatkartā susaṁmr̥ṣṭaniveśanaḥ।।13.211.12

cakṣuḥśrotramanojihvāsnigdhavarṇapradaḥ sadā। atithyabhyāgatarataḥ śeṣānnakr̥tabhojanaḥ।।13.211.13

pādyamarghyaṁ yathānyāyamāsanaṁ śayanaṁ tathā। dīpaṁ pratiśrayaṁ caiva yo dadāti sa dhārmikaḥ।।13.211.14

गृहस्थस्य व्यवहारः ॥ Conduct of a Grhastha

The Mahabharata states that a grhastha should always be devoted to his own wife and find happiness therein. He should approach her for conjugal pleasure at an appropriate time only. He should follow the instructions given in the shastras and defer from falsehood and deceit. He should eat in moderation, be diligent in the worship of the deities, exhibit gratitude towards those who help, speak the truth, have a soft disposition towards everyone, not be cruel towards anyone and always hold on to tolerance.

स्वदारतुष्टस्त्वृतुकालगामी नियोगसेवी न शठो न जिह्नः। मिताशनो देवरतः कृतज्ञः सत्यो मृदुश्चानृशंसः क्षमावान्।।१२.६०.११ svadāratuṣṭastvr̥tukālagāmī niyogasevī na śaṭho na jihnaḥ। mitāśano devarataḥ kr̥tajñaḥ satyo mr̥duścānr̥śaṁsaḥ kṣamāvān।।12.60.11

Elaborating on the virtue of being devoted to one's wife alone, the Mahabharata says,

शरीरमेकं दंपत्योर्विधात्रा पूर्वनिर्मितम्। तस्मात्स्वदारनिरतो ब्रह्मचारी विधीयते।।१३.२११.४६ śarīramekaṁ daṁpatyorvidhātrā pūrvanirmitam। tasmātsvadāranirato brahmacārī vidhīyate।।13.211.46

Meaning: The creator, in ancient times, had made a single body for a couple. Therefore, the one who is engaged with his wife alone is considered a brahmachari. The Mahabharata emphasizes that a grhastha in this world should observe truthfulness, straightforwardness, atithi satkara, dharma, artha, devotion to his wife and happiness. Only then does he obtain happiness in the other world.

सत्यार्जवं चातिथिपूजनं च धर्मस्तथार्थश्च रतिः स्वदारैः। निषेवितव्यानि सुखानि लोके ह्यस्मिन्परे चैव मतं ममैतत्।।१२.६०.१४ satyārjavaṁ cātithipūjanaṁ ca dharmastathārthaśca ratiḥ svadāraiḥ। niṣevitavyāni sukhāni loke hyasminpare caiva mataṁ mamaitat।।12.60.14

उपजीविकानियमाः ॥ Codes of Subsistence

It is said that a householder should earn money by honest means and distribute it in the proper manner. He should spend one-tenth of his income in charity and enjoy sensual pleasures within the limits of the moral law. The Mahabharata (Anushasana Parva) while speaking of Pravrtti dharma for grhasthas states how wealth earned through rightful means should be utilised by dividing it into 3 portions.

एकेनांशेन धर्मार्थः कर्तव्यो हितमिच्छता। एकेनांशेन कामार्थमेकमंशं विवर्धयेत्।।१३.२११.१७ ekenāṁśena dharmārthaḥ kartavyo hitamicchatā। ekenāṁśena kāmārthamekamaṁśaṁ vivardhayet।।13.211.17

Meaning: One desirous of upliftment must acquire dharma and artha with one portion, the second portion should be utilised for one's expenses while the third should be increased.

गृहस्थकर्माणि ॥ Activities of a Grhastha

The Mahabharata states that a grhasthashrami should control his indriyas and accept the instruction of the shastras, never fail to offer havya and kavya offering in honour of the devatas and pitrs respectively, always offer annadana to brahmanas, defer from jealousy and hatred, offer food to other ashramis and nourish them and always be engaged in yajnas and yagas.

दान्तो विधेयो हव्यकव्याप्रमत्तो ह्यन्नस्य दाता सततं द्विजेभ्यः। अमत्सरी सर्वलिङ्गप्रदाता वैताननित्यश्च गृहाश्रमी स्यात्।।१२.६०.१२

dānto vidheyo havyakavyāpramatto hyannasya dātā satataṁ dvijebhyaḥ।

amatsarī sarvaliṅgapradātā vaitānanityaśca gr̥hāśramī syāt।।12.60.12

It states that honouring of guests, protection of the 3 fires (ie. garhapatya and others) is the duty of a grhastha. And he must also perform the various ishtis and Pashubandhas according to the vidhis.

अतिथिप्रियता धर्मो धर्मस्त्रेताग्निधारणम्। इष्टिर्वा पशुबन्धाश्च विधिपूर्वं परंतप।।१३.२०८.१८ atithipriyatā dharmo dharmastretāgnidhāraṇam। iṣṭirvā paśubandhāśca vidhipūrvaṁ paraṁtapa।।13.208.18

पञ्चमहायज्ञाः ॥ Panchamahayajnas

The Manusmrti states that a grhastha should perform grhya rites in the Vaivahika agni (the agni in whose presence one's marriage has taken place) as well as the Panchamahayajnas and Nitya Paka.

वैवाहिकेऽग्नौ कुर्वीत गृह्यं कर्म यथाविधि । पञ्चयज्ञविधानं च पक्तिं चान्वाहिकीं गृही । । ३.६७ । । vaivāhike'gnau kurvīta gr̥hyaṁ karma yathāvidhi । pañcayajñavidhānaṁ ca paktiṁ cānvāhikīṁ gr̥hī । । 3.67 । ।

The hearth (place of cooking, the oven, etc.), the grinding-stone (the stone-slab and the grinding piece), household implements (such as the pot, kettle and other such household requisites), mortar and pestle (by which corn is thumped) and water-jar are known as the five slaughter-houses for the householder by using which one becomes stricken as they are sources of Papa. And in order to expiate or remove the evils proceeding from their use as in smearing of the hearth, scraping of the grinding-stone and so forth, the great sages have ordained the performance of the Panchamahayajnas daily for the householders.

पञ्च सूना गृहस्थस्य चुल्ली पेषण्युपस्करः । कण्डनी चोदकुम्भश्च बध्यते यास्तु वाहयन् । । ३.६८ । ।

तासां क्रमेण सर्वासां निष्कृत्यर्थं महर्षिभिः । पञ्च क्ल्प्ता महायज्ञाः प्रत्यहं गृहमेधिनाम् । । ३.६९ । ।

pañca sūnā gr̥hasthasya cullī peṣaṇyupaskaraḥ । kaṇḍanī codakumbhaśca badhyate yāstu vāhayan । । 3.68 । ।

tāsāṁ krameṇa sarvāsāṁ niṣkr̥tyarthaṁ maharṣibhiḥ । pañca klptā mahāyajñāḥ pratyahaṁ gr̥hamedhinām । । 3.69 । ।

Hence, the Mahabharata states that a grhastha should purify his mind by performing the Panchamahayajnas. According to Manusmrti, a grhastha should worship the sages by Vedic studies, deities by the homa-offerings, the pitrs by shraddha offering, human beings by offering food and the elements by offering bali.

स्वाध्यायेनार्चयेत र्षीन्होमैर्देवान्यथाविधि । पितॄञ् श्राद्धैश्च नॄनन्नैर्भूतानि बलिकर्मणा । । ३.८१ । । svādhyāyenārcayeta rṣīnhomairdevānyathāvidhi । pitr̥̄ñ śrāddhaiśca nr̥̄nannairbhūtāni balikarmaṇā । । 3.81 । ।

These Panchamahayajnas are further described in the Manusmrti (3.70 and 3.74) as follows:

• ब्रह्मयज्ञः ॥ Brahma Yajna: Also called as Rshi yajna or Ahuta, it refers to an offering to the brahman or rshi in the form of teaching and studying of the vedas - अध्यापनं ब्रह्मयज्ञः | adhyāpanaṁ brahmayajñaḥ. Here, the offering is not given into the fire, rather it is in the form of chanting of vedic texts - जपोऽहुतो | japo'huto |

• पितृयज्ञः ॥ Pitru Yajna: The term Prashita literally means 'eaten'. It is said that, प्राशितं पितृतर्पणम् । prāśitaṁ pitr̥tarpaṇam । It is a daily oblation to Pitrus. Prashita refers to
  • Tarpana (ablutions to the departed) - they are offerings to pitrus done with water and food. पितृयज्ञस्तु तर्पणम् । pitr̥yajñastu tarpaṇam
  • Shraddha or annual religious rites performed for departed.

• देवयज्ञः ॥ Deva Yajna: Also called as Huta (होमो दैवो | homo daivo), Devayajna refers to offering oblations to Devas, with recitation of Vedic Mantras - हुतो होमः | huto homaḥ |
• भूतयज्ञः ॥ Bhuta Yajna: In general, Bhuta Yajna refers to distribution of food to cows, crows and animals. Also called as Prahuta - प्रहुतो भौतिको बलिः । prahuto bhautiko baliḥ ।, it refers to the Bali offering given to the Bhutas - बलिर्भौतो | balirbhauto |
• नृयज्ञः ॥ Nru Yajna: Also called Brahmya-huta or the respectful reception of guests, - ब्राह्म्यं हुतं द्विजाग्र्यार्चा | brāhmyaṁ hutaṁ dvijāgryārcāis |, the Nruyajna refers to the hospitality offered to guests - नृयज्ञोऽतिथिपूजनम् | nr̥yajño'tithipūjanam । As it involves giving food to guests and honouring them, it is also known as Atithi yajna.

The one who does not neglect these yajnas on any day, to the best of one's capacity, does not become tainted by the Papa of the slaughter-house, even though living in the householder's order. However, the one who does not make offerings to these five namely, the deities, guests, dependents, pitrus and himself does not live even though breathing. Hence, the Manusmrti states that one should be constantly engaged in Vedic study as also in acts in honour of the deities; for, one who is engaged in acts in honour of the deities upholds the world, moveable as well as immoveable.

पञ्चैतान्यो महाअयज्ञान्न हापयति शक्तितः । स गृहेऽपि वसन्नित्यं सूनादोषैर्न लिप्यते । । ३.७१ । ।

देवतातिथिभृत्यानां पितॄणां आत्मनश्च यः । न निर्वपति पञ्चानां उच्छ्वसन्न स जीवति । । ३.७२ । ।

स्वाध्याये नित्ययुक्तः स्याद्दैवे चैवेह कर्मणि । दैवकर्मणि युक्तो हि बिभर्तीदं चराचरम् । । ३.७५ । ।

pañcaitānyo mahāayajñānna hāpayati śaktitaḥ । sa gr̥he'pi vasannityaṁ sūnādoṣairna lipyate । । 3.71 । ।

devatātithibhr̥tyānāṁ pitr̥̄ṇāṁ ātmanaśca yaḥ । na nirvapati pañcānāṁ ucchvasanna sa jīvati । । 3.72 । ।

svādhyāye nityayuktaḥ syāddaive caiveha karmaṇi । daivakarmaṇi yukto hi bibhartīdaṁ carācaram । । 3.75 । ।

भिक्षा अतिथिसत्कारश्च ॥ Bhiksha and Atithi Satkara

The Manusmrti mentions that a grhastha should perform atithi satkara and give bhiksha to a sannyasi and brahmachari after the bali karma. For, the Punya one obtains by offering bhiksha to a sannyasi and brahmachari is equal to that of offering a cow to the guru.

कृत्वैतद्बलिकर्मैवं अतिथिं पूर्वं आशयेत् । भिक्षां च भिक्षवे दद्याद्विधिवद्ब्रह्मचारिणे । । ३.९४ । ।

यत्पुण्यफलं आप्नोति गां दत्त्वा विधिवद्गुरोः । तत्पुण्यफलं आप्नोति भिक्षां दत्त्वा द्विजो गृही । । ३.९५ । ।

kr̥tvaitadbalikarmaivaṁ atithiṁ pūrvaṁ āśayet । bhikṣāṁ ca bhikṣave dadyādvidhivadbrahmacāriṇe । । 3.94 । ।

yatpuṇyaphalaṁ āpnoti gāṁ dattvā vidhivadguroḥ । tatpuṇyaphalaṁ āpnoti bhikṣāṁ dattvā dvijo gr̥hī । । 3.95 । ।

It also specifies how a grhastha should honour a guest.

संप्राप्ताय त्वतिथये प्रदद्यादासनोदके । अन्नं चैव यथाशक्ति सत्कृत्य विधिपूर्वकम् । । ३.९९ । । saṁprāptāya tvatithaye pradadyādāsanodake । annaṁ caiva yathāśakti satkr̥tya vidhipūrvakam । । 3.99 । ।

Meaning: A grhastha should honour a guest with seat, water and food as per his ability. Infact, it is stated that a grhastha and his wife should partake of the food leftover after the worship of deities, rshis, human beings, ancestors and the deities of the house and after feeding the brahmana, atithi, relatives, etc.

भुक्तवत्स्वथ विप्रेषु स्वेषु भृत्येषु चैव हि । भुञ्जीयातां ततः पश्चादवशिष्टं तु दम्पती । । ३.११६ । ।

देवानृषीन्मनुष्यांश्च पितॄन्गृह्याश्च देवताः । पूजयित्वा ततः पश्चाद्गृहस्थः शेषभुग्भवेत् । । ३.११७ । ।

bhuktavatsvatha vipreṣu sveṣu bhr̥tyeṣu caiva hi । bhuñjīyātāṁ tataḥ paścādavaśiṣṭaṁ tu dampatī । । 3.116 । ।

devānr̥ṣīnmanuṣyāṁśca pitr̥̄ngr̥hyāśca devatāḥ । pūjayitvā tataḥ paścādgr̥hasthaḥ śeṣabhugbhavet । । 3.117 । ।

As everything depends on him, the Grhastha is rightly called the very heart of the society.

Grhastha Dharma Palana Phalam

Mahabharata, Anushasana Parva, Danadharma upaparva contains the details about how a grhastha in different varnas should conduct themselves and the qualities that should be cultured by every grhastha in the Uma Maheshvara Samvada (Adhyayas 140-146).

Those who, being in grhasthashrama, do seva of parents, the women who serve their husbands and the brahmanas who do agnihotra daily, Indra and other devatas as well as the pitrs in the pitrloka become pleased with them and such people are pleased by their own dharma.

शुश्रूषन्ते ये पितरं मातरं च गृहाश्रमे। भर्तारं चैव या नारी अग्निहोत्रं च ये द्विजाः।।13.211.37

तेषुतेषु च प्रीणन्ति देवा इन्द्रपुरोगमाः। पितरः पितृलोकस्थाः स्वधर्मेण स रज्यते।।13.211.38

The Mahabharata says,

परदारेष्वसंसर्गो न्यासस्त्रीपरिरक्षणम्। अदत्तादानविरमो मधुमांसस्य वर्जनम् ॥ एष पञ्चविधो धर्मो बहुशाखः सुखोदयः। देहिभिर्धर्मपरमैश्र्वर्तव्यो धर्मसम्भवः॥ (Maha. Anush. Parv. 141.26-27)

Refraining from seeking other person's wife, protecting ladies and those under his care, not taking any thing from other's (in the form of charity) without first giving, not consuming meat and liquor - these are five kinds of dharmas that lead one to happiness. Each of these five dharmas further lead into many branches. Those who hold dharma in high position always follow such dharma for the sake of earning punya (merits).

कर्तव्यनिवृत्तिः ॥ Retirement from Duties

When the householder sees that his sons are able to bear the burden of his duties, when his grandchildren are around him, he should know that the time has come for him and his wife to retire from the world and spend their time in study and meditation.

According to Manusmrti, when one has paid, according to the law, one's debts to the great sages, to the forefathers, and to the gods, one should make over everything to one's son and dwell (in the house), not caring for any worldly concerns. [v.4.257.]

महर्षिपितृदेवानां गत्वानृण्यं यथाविधि । पुत्रे सर्वं समासज्य वसेन्माध्यस्थ्यं आश्रितः । । ४.२५७ । । maharṣipitr̥devānāṁ gatvānr̥ṇyaṁ yathāvidhi । putre sarvaṁ samāsajya vasenmādhyasthyaṁ āśritaḥ । । 4.257 । ।

At this stage, one is advised to constantly meditate in solitude on that which is salutary for one's soul; for one who meditates in solitude attains supreme bliss. [v.4.258.]

एकाकी चिन्तयेन्नित्यं विविक्ते हितं आत्मनः । एकाकी चिन्तयानो हि परं श्रेयोऽधिगच्छति । । ४.२५८ । । ekākī cintayennityaṁ vivikte hitaṁ ātmanaḥ । ekākī cintayāno hi paraṁ śreyo'dhigacchati । । 4.258 । ।

मोक्षमार्गः ॥ Way to Attain Moksha

In the 14th Adhyaya of the 7th Skandha of the Bhagavata Purana, as Yudhisthira asks, Maharshi Narada explains to him the course of conduct by which a householder will attain moksha without difficulty. He says,

Staying in the household and performing duties such as sandhya, worship and five mahayajnas laid down for a householder as direct offering to Bhagavan Vasudeva without expecting anything in return for it, one should wait upon great sages in order to learn the truth. (2)

Devoutly listening to the nectar-like sweet stories of the avataras of Vishnu during the leisure time after performance of duties, he should constantly be surrounded by people who are tranquil by nature. (3)

Through companionship with good people, he should gradually release himself from attachment to himself, his wife, his sons etc. which are in the process of being separated from him, and should rise above them like a person awakened from a dream (does in the case of objects seen in the dream). (4)

A wise man should be disinterested in and dispassionate to his body and house, but should attend to it to the extent to which it is indispensible. Simulating attachment to them, a man should transcend his status as an ordinary human being and be a recluse. Or (carry out his duties in life). (5)

Being free from attachment to himself and his property, he should accept in what his kinsmen, parents, sons, brothers and other well-wishers propose and desire. (6)

A wise man should carry out his duties while enjoying what he gets from the heaven (eg. crops due to rain fall), from mines (eg. gold, precious stones etc.) and what he gets accidentally by wind fall, as all wealth is created by Bhagavan Vishnu (and is obtained through his grace). (7)

Embodied beings can lay claim to that much wealth as is just necessary for filling his belly. He who lays claims on the surplus is a thief and deserves punishment. (8)

One should look upon beasts, camels, donkeys, monkeys, rats, serpents, birds and flies like one's own sons, for there is very little difference between them and his sons. (9)

Even though a man be a householder, he should not put in extraordinary trouble for getting the three purusharthas. He should enjoy what is afforded to him by providence according to its place and time. (10)

He should duly share his objects of enjoyment with all down to dogs, papis and people belonging to the lowest strata of the society. One's wife with whom one is most intimately attached should be allowed to fulfil the dharma of atithi satkara. (11)

One is so seriously attached to one's wife that he sometimes kills himself or other including his parents or guru for her. Therefore, if one can give up his attachment to such a wife, he conquers Bhagavan Vishnu who is never conquered by anyone. (12-PP)

Through proper deliberation, one should give up physical attraction towards his wife for, body ultimately transforms into worms when buried, faeces when eaten up by carnivorous animals or ashes when created. What is the value of this insignificant body ? And how much greater is the Supreme being who is all-pervading like the sky ? (13-PP)

A wise person should maintain his livelihood by food after offering oblations to the deities in the Panchamahayajnas and should relinquish the notion of his claim of what remains as surplus. Thus, he would attain to the position of paramahamsas. (14)

A man should worship the antaryamin daily by sharing what he has obtained in his own vocation with deities, sages, human beings, other living beings, pitrs and his own self. (15)

If he possesses all the required materials as well as the requisite qualifications for performing yajnas, he should worship the Supreme being according to the procedure laid down in the Shrauta and Kalpa sutras. (16)

But verily, Bhagavan, the enjoyer of yajnas is not propitiated to that extent by oblation offered through the fire as through morsels of food offered to Him through the mouths of the brahmanas. (17)

One should, therefore, worship this Inner controller through the brahmanas, deities presiding over the Panchamahayajnas as also through human beings and other creatures, by offering them objects of enjoyment, in the respective order, after feeding the brahmanas. (18)

If sufficiently rich, a dvija (brahmana, kshatriya and vaishya) should perform according to his means, the shraddha ie. Mahalaya in honour of his departed parents as well as their kinsmen and others, in the dark half of bhadrapada. (19)

The text further enumerates a few other occassions when one should perform shraddha. Since they are particularly considered as very auspicious times conducive to the attainment of prosperity to men. It is said that the performance of ablutions, muttering prayer or mantra (Japa), oblations to fire, observance of a sacred vow, worship of deities and brahmanas and gifts donated in the names of pitrs, deities, men and creatures on these specific days, bear everlasting fruit. (25)

The text also enlists Punya Kshetras and mentions that one who is desirous of blessings, should constantly sojourn at these sacred-most spots where the murti or vigrahas of Hari are installed. For, righteous duties performed here yield fruits thousand times more than what accrues at other places. (33)