Family Structure in Sanatana Dharma (सनातनीय कुटुम्बव्यवस्था)

The family is the basic unit of society, the backbone of our social structure. It represents both an association as well as an institution. Every person is born in the family and it is from this association he learns language, behavioral pattern and social norms. He is also dependent on this association for education and food. A family is a universal group, it exists in tribal, rural, and urban communities among the followers of all religions across cultures. Protection and furthering the development of a society are two important things that are dependent on the family. Undivided families were the backbone of Bharatiya lifestyle until the recent centuries. Parivar or family was gave paramount importance to Gotras. Gotra means a family or a group of families who are descendants of important ancestors who were the founders of the family. This important factor is highly respected and followed even to the present day. It was rarely seen in other civilizations of ancient times.

We shall discuss about family with Bharatiya perspectives, their associations, functionality, the continuity of the family, importance of vivaha samskara, and modern outlook in this article.

परिचयः॥ Introduction

Human nature is defined as the inevitability of having to breathe, eat and drink, sleep, procreate, eliminate waste matter. While some of these functions, are performed individually, others cannot be so performed until humans organize themselves into cooperative groups. The groups that come into existence have the above reasons as a cause and the binding forces include several simple and complex principles of integration. Most obvious is the relationship between different members of a family based on marriage and on descent. Primarily, relationship is of three-fold nature, that between

• husband and wife
• parents and children
• siblings (children of same parents)

Bharatadesha referred to as India, is characterized by certain unique geographical features such as the isolation afforded by the northern Himalayan mountain ranges, the southern peninsula, the tropical heat and rainfall and presence of large tracts of alluvial plains in the north. On the historical front it is the seat of highly developed civilization, called Indus Valley civilization. Many social-anthropologists opine that both the geographical and historical features have a direct or indirect bearing on shaping the Indian society. The typical social features of the Indian society, involve the following factors

• Ashrama dharmas
• Varna vyavastha
• Gotras or lineages
• traditional joint families
• cultural aspects

In spite of the universal nature of the family one can see vast differences in its structure in different societies. In tribal and agrarian societies people of several generations live together. Such families are called "undivided families". These societies have large and joint families. However, in the modern industrial society the family is limited to husband, wife and their children. Sociologists call it a "nuclear family".

The family is composed of a number of members living together in a home. They have definite purposes in living together. Thus a family is an associated group of people governed by certain rules and procedures. In this sense the family is an institution.

In India, the gotra system has greatly contributed to the evolution of family structure across various cultural groups in India. Vivaha samskara is based on the gotra system, thus directly playing a role in the family structure. Indian society has been unique in world history because of its value system. The value system embedded in the dharmic lifestyle has shaped the social behavior of a person as well as the social institutions. The traditional value system was laid down by the ancient Indian seers, and they include the knowledge and actions based on concepts such as karma, punarjanma, purusharthas, varnas, ashrama, and samskaras.

कुटुम्बस्योद्गमः॥ Origin of Family

Much sociological and anthropological research has gone into examining the historical origins of the family. In the late 19th century, sociologists started investigation about the Hindu families. Western researchers like J. F. Mc Lennan (1827-1881), Lewis Morgan (1818 - 81), Westermarck He and Briffault propounded their theories about the origins of the family. For example, Morgan concluded that the family was unknown among the simplest and the rudest of peoples. The earliest form of social groupings and primitive society was formed of free sexual relationships, and ignorance of the role of paternity. Westermarck denies Morgan's scheme and concludes that the origin of family was the outcome of male possessiveness and jealousy, and sense of property. While a few such theories have been propounded, many later sociologists regarded the relative futility and uselessness of such historical approach. Data collected by conscientious investigators from all parts of the globe, at all levels of culture, have borne evidence to the existence of the family structure in communities.

Australian aborigines and the even more primitive Andaman Islanders, do have the family as a vital and socially significant grouping. Within the subcontinent of India, the most backward, materially and socially, of tribes like the Kadar, the Paniyan, the Malapantaram, the Chenchu, the Birhor and so on do have the familial organization.

The family is based on simple and obvious facts. It involves the recognition of just those who are closely related to one’s self through constant physical contiguity, physical cooperation, emotional bonds, and blood ties. Many sociologists consider that the family must have always existed, coevolving with the human culture.

Aspects about origin of family are always unclear and not definite, just like when we search for origin of a river above the surface we are unaware of any underground streams which feed the river. Such matters are always shrouded in the sands of time and social scientists can only hypothesize based on few evidences. Origins of hindu family have been mentioned in a few texts of Bharatiya samskuti.

One of the earliest hypothesis was that relationships between man and woman did not have any definite rules and free sexual interactions were led by promiscuity, free marriages (without any social rule basis) and hetaerism (general and temporary continued sexual relations out of wedlock) and evolved to group marriages, polygamy and communal marriages. Later a more rule based marriage system evolved in India. In Mahabharata, Anushasana parva, and Karna parva we find descriptions and discussions about such relationships and the consequent laws that have been implemented. However, we do not find references to the above hypothesis in Vaidik Sahitya which is earlier than Mahabharata. It should be emphasized that mantras related to marriage in the Atharvaveda (14.1.18) stressed on the following aspects about the relationship between a man and his wife

- the marriage ties the bride to her husband's family after leaving the father's house

- the wife lives with her husband in his house after marriage (soubhagyavati)

- the wife along with the husband participates in maintaining a home and raises a family (she becomes a putravati)

Rigveda (10.85.42) also states that the married couple stay in grhastha ashrama without ever separating from each other and enjoy all comforts with a long life.

All these blessings would be worthless if the promiscuity was the basis of a relationship between man and women. Atharvaveda (14.1.52) further states that during marriage when the groom holds the hand of the bride and states that she should live a long life (100 years) together with him. Such wish of staying together would be futile in the first place when conjugal relationships with many partners was the basis of a relationship. It should be noted that nowhere in the Brahmana, Dharmasutras and smrtigranthas, uninhibited conjugal relationship between man and woman were advocated or even described as a basis for the origin of a family. In such contradictory instances from Mahabharata and Vedas, Vedic injunctions are considered as pramana for origin of hindu families.

कुटुम्बस्य परिभाषा॥ Definition of Family

Modern Perspective

A number of modern sociologists and social scientists have defined the family in a number of ways. Many opine that the family is a definite and long-term group defined by the conjugal relationships that reproduce and bring up children. A family may include other blood-relations also but it is mainly formed by living together of man, woman and their children. The unit formed by their living together is called family. When people of many generations and relatives can also live together in a family. The unit that is thus formed is called ‘dynasty’ by Ogburn and Nimkoff. They distinguished between family and dynasty.

A few elements of the family are as follows

1. The family is a basic, definite and enduring biological group
2. A family is a socially approved organization for meeting definite human needs. It is a social institution.
3. Family is formed by the relatively durable companionship of husband, wife and their sex relationships
4. The family includes the couples and their children. The family procreates and brings up children.
5. The family can also be large in size in which persons belonging to several generations may live together.
6. The family may be limited to husband, wife or only the father and his children or only the mother and her children.
7. When many generations live together it is called joint family

Bharatiya Perspective

The families of India, however, comprised of the husband, wife, children, brothers and sisters, and parents, as is fully indicated by various rites given in the Grhyasutras. The grhasthashrama of a person is considered the basis of a family. A grhastha is the householder, who founds a family after vivaha samskara and supports people who are in other ashramas. Grhyagni was the symbol of a household and each household must possess its own Grhyagni. Families in India, since ancient times, were mostly patriarchal in character. In the Grhyasutras we find various samskaras and grhya yajnas involving different members of the family, the rights and duties entailed for them. For example, in the Grhapravesha ceremony, the sutras enjoin that the husband enters the newly-built house in the company of his wife and eldest son, and the daughter or sister are to light the fire in the kitchen in the new house. A family includes even the student, who along with the wife, son, daughter and brother of the householder has the authority to perform regular worship in the Grhyagni of a grhastha, in his absence. In case the son decides to have a separate household, his Grhyagni would be separate from that of his father. The existence of a joint family system is indicated by several Sutras.

Contrary to the sociologists' views of just the husband, wife and children constituting a family, the Indian family system advocated a united undivided family consisting of the parents, siblings and even students. It is no wonder that our seers expressed that the world is one family, "vasudaiva kutumbakam" which aptly depicts the inclusiveness of the sanatana kutumba vyavastha.

अयं बन्धुरयं नेति गणना लघुचेतसाम् । उदारचरितानां तु वसुधैव कुटुम्बकम् ॥ ७१॥ (Maha. Upan. 6.71)

Summary: Those who think "he is mine", "He is not" are petty-minded. The large hearted ones regard the world as one family. We find the following version in Hitopadesha, it is of the same purport and widely known.

अयं निजः परो वेति गणना लघुचेतसाम्। उदारचरितानां तु वसुधैव कुटुम्बकम्॥

ayaṃ nijaḥ paro veti gaṇanā laghucetasām । udāracaritānāṃ tu vasudhaiva kuṭumbakam ॥

The vidhi given in the Grhyasutras that only the eldest son should kindle the Grhyagni, after the death of the householder, shows that after the householder passes away, the eldest son alone moves into the position of the householder, if all the brothers continue to live together without partitioning their inheritance. This vidhi is found in Sankhyayana, Kaushika and Gobhila grhyasutras.

पित्र्यमग्निं शमयिष्यञ्ज्येष्ठस्य चाविभक्तिन एकाग्निमाधास्यन् १ (Kaus. Sutr. 69.1)

This vidhi refers to the joint family system and undivided families, where the eldest son becomes the head of the household after the father. Until recent centuries, families in India chose to stay united as joint family.

A family is, thus, characterized by

• institutionalized mating, i.e., some type of marriage
• a nomenclature for knowing the descent, i.e., a mode to know the descent
• an economic unit especially the mother and child
• association with a common habitat for all its members i.e., a common household
• survival (protection of human species) and companionship

Distinctive Features of the Family

A family having the above characteristics has the following distinctive features

• Universality - family is found all over the world and at all levels of culture. Besides, there is no conclusive or convincing evidence that there ever was a time when the family did not exist. Modern civilization has not so far succeeded in providing a complete and fully satisfying substitute for this grouping. Anywhere in the world, a family has a biological aspect in which a man and woman become husband and wife by certain institutional modes (marriage).
• Emotional basis - The integrative bonds in a family are mutual affection and blood ties. The cords that tie together the members of a family are the outcome of such an emotional factor as love, and not an intellectual factor like reason. This factor helps perform the all-important role of early education, and transmission of culture.
• Educative role - The most plastic years of every individual’s life, that is his childhood, are spent in his family. He gets the earliest and the most fundamental lessons in socialization. He is mentally formed according to the norms of society, which get ingrained in him to re-appear in his adult life as conscience or super-ego. The behavior, language and cultural traditions are imbibed by an individual in this familial setting. The family also contributes to the biological growth of the individual by making available basic needs in such matters as metabolism, safety, growth and so on.
• Limited number of members - A family throughout the world is characterized by its limited size as compared to other types of social groupings and associations. We sometimes find larger groups of the family in agrarian and tribal communities. Primitive social and economic systems, especially agrarian systems, require more human labor. Therefore, the size of the family in these societies is generally large. This was also a reason for the large size of the family. The industrial-urban system has reduced the size of the family. In this system the family generally means husband, wife and their children. In this system the basis of marriage is love and personal liking This has also contributed towards the small size of the family in urban societies.
• Economic factors - Economic factors have a binding role a family. As mentioned in the above point, agrarian and rural systems, require more human labor. More members in the family collectively contributed towards higher economic gains of the family. In the industrial-urban system, labor and wages of the sole individual determines the economic status of the family. The individual goes from the village to the city in search of employment. On account of the constraints of limited wages and small accommodation, he is forced to follow the small family norm.
• Central position - Family has a central role in shaping an individuals' participation in other social groups. He is identified by his descent and family lineage.
• Responsibility among members - Even though a family is bonded on emotional basis, it is not completely devoid of intellectual basis i.e., reason. A sense of responsibility among its members in relation to each other is a rational and reasoned aspect among the family members. This feeling of personal responsibility towards each other is very important to ensure the smooth working of the familial grouping. For example, elder members instinctively care for and teach the younger members as they consider it as their responsibility.
• Social regulation - Various families collectively form the society, and they evolve restrictions and rules keeping the collective and wider view of the society. Just as an individual is regulated by the family norms and performs functions towards each other, so also the family performs functions and is regulated by the norms of the society of which it is a part. Thus social regulation of larger societies come into place. For example, there are social restrictions on divorce varying in intensity, in almost every society.
• Persistence and change - The family is the most permanent and universal institution, yet as an association it is subject to constant change in composition and structure, even within the same society. The structure, behavioral patterns and functions of the family have been changing with changes in the socio-economic order.

Additionally, bharatiya principles which are the driving forces for raising a family include the following

• Rnas - Vedas and later in the Mahabharata Adi Parva (Adhyaya 120.17-20) four pious obligations have been indicated that are to be discharged by every human being. They are devaruna (debt towards devatas), pitruruna (towards ancestors and parents), rishiruna (towards our rishis, Gurus and teachers) and manavaruna (towards fellow beings). Among these Pitruruna is fulfilled by maintaining the continuity of the family and begetting children as given by पुत्रैः श्राद्धैः पितृंश्चापि.... in Mahabharata. Parents are treated with respect and worshipped. The Vedas directed every individual to treat his mother and father as devatas and respect them. Thus parents and other elders who left for the higher worlds are termed as Pitrudevatas. It is this value which has sustained the moral character of the individual and also it is this sense of gratitude, which makes him serve not only the parents but also the brothers and sisters and other dependents who all belong to the same family.
• Kama - Kama is defined as desire (though not an equivalent term) and is the motivating power of all activities. Kama is the third purushartha, in the Trivarga. It is the chief purushartha in youth. Characteristics of Kama, as defined by Vatsyayana, is the tendency of the five sense organs for the achievement of their corresponding objects. It is the pleasure experienced by the self in the fulfilment of the sexual tendencies. It is the cause of mutual attractions among different living beings. It is the basis of creation, it leads to procreation. Fulfilment of natural attractions and innate desires was done in a moral and dharmik background. Indian seers have stressed on the worldly enjoyments of a person in grhastha ashrama together with the knowledge of controlling sense organs. Thus Kama controlled and guided by dharma was said to bring about social upliftment whereas either repression of desires or kama under the influence of adharma led to anti-social tendency. Hence moderation and dharmik basis of such kama was essential in youth.
• Varna vyavastha - The varna system presents a structure of values and functions which provide both personal and social justice. It is based upon the moral principle of Karma. It is believed that everyone is born with peculiar leanings, temperament and abilities due to his past karmas. In personal life varna was based upon the twin ideals of Svabhava and Swadharma. These two are the psychological and social aspects of the same phenomena. The social duties of a person are relative to his psychological makeup. Each one should follow his own psychological make up, since by that alone he can make a holistic contribution to the society. Thus within the person Swabhava is the guiding principle. One who acts based on his Swabhava acts spontaneously. Spontaneity is the result of totality and results in harmony. Svadharma means one’s duties in society. These duties should not be imposed from outside pressures. In order to be natural, spontaneous and divine duties must be based on Swabhava. A persons' value system so regulated becomes a better contributor to the society and hence the marriage system was so structured such that the husband and wife belong to the same varna. In case of love between man and woman which knows no rules and transcends all bounds, it was natural that males and females belonging to different varnas met and even married against social conventions. Such marriages were known by the names of anuloma and pratiloma marriages. The varna-vyavastha in the society, was thus four fold and was based on the scientific idea of division of labor.
• Ashrama vyavastha - While the varna vyavastha focuses on social justice, ashrama vyavastha concentrates on justice within the individual.
• Samskaras - Samskaras are those activities which helo to achieve purity and as a result complete development of the individual's personality is possible. In fact, the development of the individual is necessary in accordance with society. In order to fulfil this need, samskaras have been laid down as a means in the Hindu society and is connected with physical and non-physical aspects of man. This helps the socialization of the individual and he develops respect for labor, virtue and duty. Sacraments are generally prevalent in almost all the societies of the world. For example, Sunnat and baptism are prevalent among the Muslims and the Christian respectively. But Samskaras are those kinds of sacraments that have a special significance in Hindu society. They have always been related to the age, occasion and Ashrama etc of the individual. They help refine and develop the personality of an individual and pave way for his social and spiritual progress. During the whole life of an individual, he is vested with some new responsibilities and duties. Samskaras inculcate the feeling in him to do his duty and discharge the responsibilities assigned to him for the welfare of others around him. Sanskaras are not only for his own good, but they also represent man's responsibility to society.

संयुक्त कुटुंबम् ॥ Joint Family

A dharmic society in India owes its very existence to the united family system. Even after repeated invasions and influence of foreign rulers for thousand years, if a dharmic society is still seen today, it is due to the family structure. After 300 years of contrary education, people have remained faithful to the dharmas propounded by our seers. However, as with any lengthy battles, Indian family system has been gradually weakening while the education system introduced by McCauley and others are steadily gaining ground over centuries. We have seen how the world which is steadily imitating countries like America is a land of broken families. The dharmik values which shape the moral and ethical values of a person are not easily awakened unless given adequate exposure during his/her upbringing. Such values have largely been an integral part of our family structure which helped to keep families integrated.

In fact, the secret of a happy peaceful dharmik society life lies in the 'family spirit'. The basis of all our social relations is the feeling of family, not just limited to blood relations. This family feeling or intimacy was visible in practice, and such education and rites were given in families as well as in schools which promoted this familial unity. A Guru treated his student with familial love just like his son. A Maharaja is the father of all his citizens. The term "praja" itself means "progeny" or "children". People working in the same occupation are not competitive, they are "occupational brothers". The Earth is worshipped as the mother, our country is called the motherland. Cow, Tulsi, and Ganga are revered as the mothers. The people who come to listen to the lecture in the meeting hall are 'my dear sisters and brothers'. Even our markets are run with a family spirit.

Shiva's Complete Family

The ideal of a dharmik family is the family of the deities Shiva and Parvati. In this family, each other's enemies also forget their hatred and live in harmony. The bull, the vehicle of Shankar or Shiva, is the food of the lion, the vehicle of Parvati. The mouse, the vehicle of Ganesha, is the food of the snake living around the neck of Shankar. And this snake is the food of Kartikeya's peacock. Apart from this Chandra, the moon which represents medicinal plants and food, and Gangadevi who represents the life source namely water, both decorate the braids of Shiva. His third eye represents Agni, the fire. This family not only includes the