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== कौटुम्बिकजीवनस्य आधारः ॥ Foundation of Family Life ==

== कौटुम्बिकजीवनस्य आधारः ॥ Foundation of Family Life ==

The sanctity attached to the relationship of the husband and wife brought about by Vivaha (marriage) and the inseparability of their relationship was the firm foundation laid by the propounders of Dharma, on which the social life was constructed. This again was founded on the doctrine of Trivarga.

Bharatiya social life was constructed on the firm foundation of the sanctity and inseparability of the husband and wife relationship laid down by the propounders of Dharma by means of the Vivaha Samskara. The object and purpose of Vivaha or marriage was declared in the Dharmashastras as the fulfillment of the threefold ideals of life, ie. Dharma, Artha and Kama. The sum and substance of these three goals was that the husband and the wife, remaining loyal to each other throughout their life, should restrain their desire (kama) for material pleasure, wealth and prosperity (Artha) by Dharma (righteous rules of conduct) and should share the happiness and misery and discharge their prescribed duties towards the family and society throughout their life. Therefore, while giving the girl in marriage, the father, or in his absence the guardian, addresses the bridegroom saying,<blockquote>धर्मेचार्थे च कामे च नातिचरितव्या त्वयेयम् ॥ ''dharmecārthe ca kāme ca nāticaritavyā tvayeyam ॥''</blockquote>Meaning: You shall not transgress Dharma in the attainment of Artha and Kama.

This the bridegroom accepts by saying, नातिचरामि ॥ ''nāticarāmi ॥''

 

This is highlighted by a promise which a bridegroom was required to make while undergoing the vivaha Samskara. While giving the girl in marriage, the father, or in his absence the guardian, addresses the bridegroom with the following words:

 

 

 

The bridegroom accepts the condition with these words:

 

नातिचरामि ॥

Meaning: I shall not transgress Dharma, in matters of Artha and Kama.

Meaning: I shall not transgress Dharma, in matters of Artha and Kama.

The promise taken indicates that the purpose of marriage was the fulfillment of Trivarga doctrine throughout the life of husband and wife. In order to impress upon the minds of the bride and bridegroom about the sanctity and permanence of marriage bond and to make them to commit publicly, in the presence of relatives and guests, that they would fulfill the obligations of married life towards the society vivaha was prescribed as a Samskara. This is one of the most important and basic aspects of the social system based on Dharma. It was regarded as the foundation of family life. After marriage the husband and the wife would enter the stage in life, which was called ‘“Grihasthashrama” (Householder) ie., family life, during which it was the duty of every family to discharge its social obligation. The husband and the wife were together required to observe a code of conduct, and they had to discharge their responsibility jointly. In particular, they were together required to discharge four pious obligations namely;

This promise given by the bridegroom while undergoing the Vivaha Samskara highlights that the purpose of marriage was the fulfillment of Trivarga doctrine throughout their life as husband and wife. In fact, Vivaha was prescribed as a Samskara so as to impress upon the minds of the bride and bridegroom the sanctity and permanence of the marriage bond and also to make them to commit publicly, in the presence of relatives and guests, that they would fulfill the obligations of married life towards the society. Because, after marriage husband and wife enter the stage of family life or Grhasthashrama (Householder) during which it was the duty of every family to discharge its social obligation. The husband and wife were together required to observe a code of conduct and jointly discharge their social responsibilities. In particular, they were required to discharge together four pious obligations towards,

# towards the God

# the Supreme being

# towards parents

# Parents

# towards teacher

# Teacher

# towards humanity

# Humanity

The relevant verse in the Mahabharata where these four pious obligations have been indicated are in Adi Parva (Adhyaya 120.17-20). It says,<blockquote>ऋणैश्चतुर्भिः संयुक्ता जायन्ते मानवा भुवि | पितृदेवर्षिमनुजैर्देयं तेभ्यश्च धर्मतः ||</blockquote><blockquote>r̥ṇaiścaturbhiḥ saṁyuktā jāyante mānavā bhuvi | pitr̥devarṣimanujairdeyaṁ tebhyaśca dharmataḥ ||</blockquote>Meaning: Every individual should discharge four pious obligations. They are Deva Rna (towards the Supreme Being), Pitru Rna (towards parents), Rishi Rna (towards teachers) and Manava Rna (towards humanity).

This is indicated in the Adi Parva (Adhyaya 120.17-20) of the Mahabharata as follows, <blockquote>ऋणैश्चतुर्भिः संयुक्ता जायन्ते मानवा भुवि | पितृदेवर्षिमनुजैर्देयं तेभ्यश्च धर्मतः || </blockquote><blockquote>r̥ṇaiścaturbhiḥ saṁyuktā jāyante mānavā bhuvi | pitr̥devarṣimanujairdeyaṁ tebhyaśca dharmataḥ ||</blockquote>Meaning: Every individual should discharge four pious obligations. They are Deva Rna (towards the Supreme Being), Pitru Rna (towards parents), Rishi Rna (towards teachers) and Manava Rna (towards humanity).

It also indicated the method by which the four pious obligations are to be discharged.<blockquote>यज्ञैस्तु देवान् प्रीणाति स्वाध्यायतपसा मुनीन् | पुत्रैः श्राद्धैः पितृंश्चापि आनृशंस्येन मानवान् ||</blockquote><blockquote>yajñaistu devān prīṇāti svādhyāyatapasā munīn | putraiḥ śrāddhaiḥ pitr̥ṁścāpi ānr̥śaṁsyena mānavān ||</blockquote>Meaning: One should discharge Pitru Rna by maintaining continuity of the family, Deva Rna by worship of the Supreme, Rishi Rna by the acquisition and dissemination of knowledge and Manava Rna by every type of social service.<ref name=":2" />

In fact the method by which these four pious obligations are to be discharged are also indicated. It is said,<blockquote>यज्ञैस्तु देवान् प्रीणाति स्वाध्यायतपसा मुनीन् | पुत्रैः श्राद्धैः पितृंश्चापि आनृशंस्येन मानवान् ||</blockquote><blockquote>yajñaistu devān prīṇāti svādhyāyatapasā munīn | putraiḥ śrāddhaiḥ pitr̥ṁścāpi ānr̥śaṁsyena mānavān ||</blockquote>Meaning: One should discharge Pitru Rna by maintaining continuity of the family, Deva Rna by worship of the Supreme, Rishi Rna by the acquisition and dissemination of knowledge and Manava Rna by every type of social service.<ref name=":2" />

This could be discharged by husband and wife only by living together with mutual love and fidelity throughout their life which is the sum and substance of dharma of husband and wife. To impress upon every couple this aspect Manusmriti Ch.-[X -101 and III-60 declared thus:

This could be discharged by the husband and wife only by living together with mutual love and fidelity throughout their life. This is indeed the crux of Dampatya Dharma (the dharma of a husband and wife). And thus, Manusmriti declares that mutual friendship and fidelity is the highest Dharma to be observed by husband and wife, throughout their life. For, the family in which husband and wife have mutual affection and respect always secures happiness and prosperity.<blockquote>अन्योन्यस्याव्यभिचारो भवेदामरणान्तिकः । एष धर्मः समासेन ज्ञेयः स्त्रीपुंसयोः परः । । ९.१०१ । ।<ref>Manusmrti, [https://sa.wikisource.org/wiki/%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%A8%E0%A5%81%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%83/%E0%A4%A8%E0%A4%B5%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%8B%E0%A4%A7%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%83 Adhyaya 9]</ref></blockquote><blockquote>संतुष्टो भार्यया भर्ता भर्त्रा भार्या तथैव च । यस्मिन्नेव कुले नित्यं कल्याणं तत्र वै ध्रुवम् । । ३.६० । ।<ref>Manusmrti, [https://sa.wikisource.org/wiki/%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%A8%E0%A5%81%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%83/%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%80%E0%A4%AF%E0%A5%8B%E0%A4%A7%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%83 Adhyaya 3]</ref></blockquote><blockquote>''anyonyasyāvyabhicāro bhavedāmaraṇāntikaḥ । eṣa dharmaḥ samāsena jñeyaḥ strīpuṁsayoḥ paraḥ । । 9.101 । ।''</blockquote><blockquote>''saṁtuṣṭo bhāryayā bhartā bhartrā bhāryā tathaiva ca । yasminneva kule nityaṁ kalyāṇaṁ tatra vai dhruvam । । 3.60 । ।'' </blockquote>Also, the observance of this directive throughout life by the wedded couple is not only conducive to happiness and harmony in family life, but also essential for national or social life. Therefore, Vivaha (marriage), founded on the doctrine of Trivarga, was one of the most important of the several ‘samskaras’ (sacraments) prescribed by Dharmashastras to be performed during the lifetime of an individual.

अन्योन्यस्याव्यभिचारो भवेदामरणान्तिकः । एष धर्मः समासेन ज्ञेयः स्त्रीपुंसयोः परः । । ९.१०१ । ।<ref>Manusmrti, [https://sa.wikisource.org/wiki/%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%A8%E0%A5%81%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%83/%E0%A4%A8%E0%A4%B5%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%8B%E0%A4%A7%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%83 Adhyaya 9]</ref>

The validity and utility of the directive for all and its eternal value are unexceptionable. This again was .

संतुष्टो भार्यया भर्ता भर्त्रा भार्या तथैव च । यस्मिन्नेव कुले नित्यं कल्याणं तत्र वै ध्रुवम् । । ३.६० । ।<ref>Manusmrti, [https://sa.wikisource.org/wiki/%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%A8%E0%A5%81%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%83/%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%80%E0%A4%AF%E0%A5%8B%E0%A4%A7%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%83 Adhyaya 3]</ref>

The object and purpose of marriage was declared in the Dharmashastras by the  propounders of Dharma after deep thought and consideration. They stressed that coming together of a man and woman was necessary for the fulfillment of the threefold ideals of life, ie., Dharma, Artha and Kama.  

Meaning: Mutual friendship and fidelity is the highest Dharma to be observed by husband and wife, throughout their life.

This is one of the most important and basic aspects of the social system based on Dharma. It was regarded as the foundation of family life.  

The family in which husband and wife have mutual affection and respect always secures happiness and prosperity.

The family in which husband and wife have mutual affection and respect always secures happiness and prosperity.

It is also pertinent to point out that the great importance attached to family life, as constituting the social edifice, and as a basic unit on which the strength of a nation depends, which was regarded as part of dharma, has been recognized by the United Nations under article 23(1) of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, adopted by the General Assembly on 16th December 1966. It reads:

It is also pertinent to point out that the great importance attached to family life, as constituting the social edifice, and as a basic unit on which the strength of a nation depends, which was regarded as part of dharma, has been recognized by the United Nations under article 23(1) of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, adopted by the General Assembly on 16th December 1966. It reads: