Marriage (विवाह: संस्कार:)

The term literally means (viśiṣṭaḥ vāhaḥ prāpaṇam) to make a girl attain wifehood, i.e. earlier there was "strītvam" (girlhood) and after marriage she attains "bhāryātvam" (wifehood) also. This Saṃskāra is the most important of all.

Institution of Marriage

Taittirīyasaṃhitā (6.3.10.5) says that a Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts and the debts of sages and forefathers have to be cleared by performing Yajñas (sacrifices) and producing children –

जायमानो ह वै ब्राह्मणस्त्रिभिर्ऋणवान् जायते ब्रह्मचर्येण ऋषिभ्यः यज्ञेन देवेभ्यः प्रजया पितृभ्यः एष वा अनृणो यः पुत्री यज्वा ब्रह्मचारिवासी . . .

jāyamāno ha vai brāhmaṇastribhirṛṇavān jāyate brahmacaryeṇa ṛṣibhyaḥ yajñena devebhyaḥ prajayā pitṛbhyaḥ eṣa vā anṛṇo yaḥ putrī yajvā brahmacārivāsī . . .

A Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts – he has to clear the debt of sages through Brahmacaryam (celibacy), that of deities / Gods through Yajñas (sacrifices) and that of forefathers through producing children. Therefore the Brāhmaṇa would be debtless if he has children, performs sacrifices and maintains Brahmacaryam.

Bride and bridegroom

Gautamadharmasūtram (Chapter 4) prescribed the qualifications of a bride and bridegroom –

गृहस्थः सदृशीं भार्यां विन्दते अनन्यपूर्वां यवीयसीम् (४.१)

gṛhasthaḥ sadṛśīṃ bhāryāṃ vindate ananyapūrvāṃ yavīyasīm (4.1)

One who wants to become a household should get a girl, who is of the same caste, not promised to others and younger in age. Kāmasūtra (3.1.2) recommends an age gap of three years between the bride and groom. Just like raw pepper causes phlegm and dry pepper kills the phlegm, a girl elder than the groom would affect the longevity of the groom. Āyurveda says this clearly –

बाला प्राणप्रदा प्रोक्ता युवती प्राणधारिणी।

प्रौढा करोति वृद्धत्वं बृद्धा मरणमादिशेत्॥

bālā prāṇapradā proktā yuvatī prāṇadhāriṇī।

prauḍhā karoti vṛddhatvaṃ bṛddhā maraṇamādiśet॥

A girl much younger in age would increase the longevity of the groom, a young girl, i.e. younger in age but not too younger, would help maintain the longevity of the groom, a girl older in age would cause early ageing and too older a lady would cause early death.

असमानप्रवरैः विप्राः (४.२)

asamānapravaraiḥ viprāḥ (4.2)

The marriage should be between a bride and groom of different Pravaras.

Smṛtis prohibited marriage between a bride and groom of the same Gotra (i.e. those who are the progeny of the same sage).

A girl and a boy having Sāpiṇḍya (blood relation) should not marry:

ऊर्ध्वं सप्तमात् पितृबन्धुभ्यः। बीजिनश्च। मातृबन्धुभ्यः पञ्चमात्। (४.३,४,५)

ūrdhvaṃ saptamāt pitṛbandhubhyaḥ। bījinaśca। mātṛbandhubhyaḥ pañcamāt। (4.3, 4, 5)

Seven generations above father or appointed father (who provides children through Niyoga / arrangement) and five generations above mother is the limit to select the girl.

As per the ancient Gṛhyasūtras and Dharmasūtras the girls were married around the time of puberty. Having brothers (sabhrātṛkā) is a must for a girl to be married, although some conditional procedure is offered for a girl without a brother (abhrātṛkā).

The Bride

Āpastambagṛhyasūtram prescribes the qualifications of a girl –

बन्धुशीललक्षणसम्पन्नाम् अरोगाम् उपयच्छेत्। आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम् ,३.१९॥

bandhuśīlalakṣaṇasampannām arogām upayacchet।

Āpastambagṛhyasūtram 3.19॥

A girl having good relatives, virtues like obedience, auspicious physical characteristics and healthy should be married.

Here health means not having incurable disease like leprosy.

The Bridegroom

Āpastamba clearly states the qualifications of a good bridegroom:

बन्धुशीललक्षणसम्पन्नः श्रुतवान् अरोग इति वरसम्पत्।आपस्तम्बसूत्रम् ३.२॰॥

bandhuśīlalakṣaṇasampannaḥ śrutavān aroga iti varasampat । ibid. 3.2…॥

A boy, who is supported by good relatives, virtues like obedience, auspicious physical characteristics, educated and healthy is a good bridegroom.

Here health means without any incurable disease like leprosy.

Deciding a Bride

Āpastamba (and others) offers an easy way of selecting a bride –

यस्यां मनश्चक्षुषोः निबन्धः तस्याम् ऋद्धिः नेतरत् आद्रियेत इत्येके। आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम् ३.२१॥

yasyāṃ manaścakṣuṣoḥ nibandhaḥ tasyām ṛddhiḥ netarat ādriyeta ityeke । ibid. 3.21॥

In which girl the mind and eyes get fixed, i.e. the girl liked by mind and eyes of bridegroom, is good as a wife and there will be all round prosperity. Some sages say that if that is the case then the other qualifications need not be given much importance.

Needless to say marriage between a bride and groom belonging to the same caste (in Spanish "Custa" means "group") such as Brāhmaṇa, Kṣatriya, Vaiśya etc. is recommended.

Eight Kinds of Marriages

Marriages are divided into eight types –

ब्राह्मो दैवस्तथैवार्षः प्राजापत्यस्तथासुरः। गान्धर्वो राक्षसश्चैव पैशाचश्चाष्टमोऽधमः॥मनुस्मृतिः ३.२१॥

brāhmo daivastathaivārṣaḥ prājāpatyastathāsuraḥ. gāndharvo rākṣasaścaiva paiśācaścāṣṭamo'dhamaḥ॥Manusmṛtiḥ 3.21॥

Brāhma, Daiva, Ārṣa, Prājāpatya, Āsura, Gāndharva, Rākṣasa and Paiśāca are the eight kinds of marriages and the last one, i.e. Paiśāca is condemned.

Here is an explanation of the eight forms of marriage:

• Brāhmavivāha: Inviting a bridegroom, who is a scholar in Veda and Vedāṅgas etc. to bride's house, worshipping him as per the capacity and offering the girl.

• Daivavivāha: A Ṛtvik (priest), who pleased his Yajamāna (the master) of the Yajña etc., by his priesthood, is offered ornaments, clothes etc., worshipped as per the capacity and offered the girl.

• Ārṣavivāha: Having received a pair (or two) of cows, i.e. a cow and an ox, from the bridegroom as a token, the girl is offered.

• Prājāpatyavivāha: The donor of the bride says to the groom: "I offer you my girl, both of you should perform the auspicious rites and have good offspring", worships him and offers the girl.

• Āsuravivāha: Having paid some amount to bride's party, the groom weds the girl either in bride's house or elsewhere, with his own expenditure.

• Gāndharvavivāha: It is nothing but the so called love-marriage.
• Rākṣasavivāha: Marrying forcibly a scared girl after threatening her by several means.
• Paiśācavivāha: Approaching the girl clandestinely, sedating her or taking her while asleep and marrying secretly.

The above is just the division of the marriages that were taking place in the society. Among the eight Brāhma, Daiva and Prājāpatya are considered as the best as the donor of bride (Kanyādātā) personally gathers information about the groom and proceeds depending on the virtues.

Purpose of Marriage

In the Saṃkalpa (the pledge made before any rite) of marriage, the following is stated –

धर्मप्रजासम्पत्यर्थं स्त्रियमुद्वहे

dharmaprajāsampatyarthaṃ striyamudvahe

I wed this girl for Dharma, offspring and Artha (money matters and day to day life). Further it is asserted in scriptures –

या धर्मार्था सैव रत्यर्था या रत्यर्था सा धर्मार्था न भवति।

yā dharmārthā saiva ratyarthā yā ratyarthā sā dharmārthā na bhavati ।

The bride who is accepted as wife for Dharma is also for sexual life but the one taken for sexual life cannot be for Dharma.

Auspicious time for marriage

Āpastamba rules that all the auspicious stars mentioned in Jyotiṣam (Astrology) have to be taken for marriage –

सर्वाणि पुण्योक्तानि नक्षत्राणि। आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम्, २.१३॥

sarvāṇi puṇyoktāni nakṣatrāṇi। Āpastambagṛhyasūtram, 2.13॥

For Sumuhūrta (an auspicious time span of forty eight minutes called Muhūrta) one should take all the stars said to be auspicious and listed in the works of Jyotiṣam (Astrology).

For want of space many more details related to Jyotiṣam with regard to marriage are not being provided but a few. The strength of Guru (Jupiter), who thwarts a hundred thousand defects and Śukra (Venus) who thwarts ten thousand defects is important.

Matching of horoscopes

This tradition has been there in Indian subcontinent since time immemorial. The horoscopes of bride and groom are referred to an astrologer (Jyautiṣika) who, in turn would advise whether the pair would make a good couple or not. The Jyautiṣika would take into consideration aspects such as Grahamaitrī (rapport between the lords of Rāśis of bride and groom – this is important for Brāhmaṇas).

Kujadoṣa (the defect of Mars placed in wrong house): This is a very important aspect in terms of compatibility between the horoscopes of bride and groom –

धने व्यये च पाताळे जामित्रे चाष्टमे कुजे।

स्त्रीणां भर्तृविनाशः स्यात् पुंसां भार्याविनाशनम्॥ अगस्त्यसंहिता॥

dhane vyaye ca pātāle jāmitre cāṣṭame kuje ।

strīṇāṃ bhartṛvināśaḥ syāt puṃsāṃ bhāryāvināśanam॥ Agastyasaṃhitā॥

If Kuja (Mars) is placed in second, fourth, seventh, eighth or twelfth house (it is called Kujadoṣa) of the bride then it would cause the death of the groom and vice versa. The above said houses are to be counted from Lagna (ascendant), Rāśi (the house in which Moon is situated) and Śukra (Venus). However the Kujadoṣa gets nullified if there is any of the three relations of Guru (Jupiter) with Kuja, i.e. Parivartana (swapping of houses by Guru and Kuja), or association (both Guru and Kuja in the same house) or aspect of Guru to Kuja (Guru has fifth, seventh and ninth aspects). Similarly for those who are born in Kuja's own houses, i.e. Meṣa (Aries) and Vṛścika (Scoprio), Mitrakṣetra (friend's house), i.e. Simha (Leo) of Ravi (Sun), Mīna (Pisces) and Dhanus (Sagittarius) of Guru, Karkaṭaka (Cancer) of Candra (Moon), Uccakṣetra (zenith) i.e. Makara (Capricorn) – Kujadoṣa is nullified –

अर्केन्दुक्षेत्रजातानां कुजदोषो न विद्यते।

स्वोच्चमित्रभजातानां पीडको न भवेत्कुजः॥ देवकेरळम् ॥

arkendukṣetrajātānāṃ kujadoṣo na vidyate ।

svoccamitrabhajātānāṃ pīḍako na bhavetkujaḥ॥ Devakeraḷam ॥

Further, there will be compatibility if Kujadoṣa is there in the horoscopes of both the bride and groom.

While fixing the Muhūrta (auspicious time) for marriage one has to take care of the conditions such as Jāmitraśuddhi (either no planet in the seventh house from Lagnam / ascendant or there is Śubhagraha / auspicious planet in that house) etc. that are prescribed in the works on Jyotiṣam such as Kālāmṛtam, Muhūrtacintāmaṇi etc.

Major events of marriage

Since marriage, unlike other  Saṃskāras , has a lengthy process, there will be many events. So, some major events are being explained.