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The term Vivaha literally means (viśiṣṭaḥ vāhaḥ prāpaṇam) to make a girl attain wifehood, i.e. earlier there was "strītvam" (girlhood) and after marriage she attains "bhāryātvam" (wifehood) also. This Saṃskāra is the most important of all [[Samskaras (संस्काराः)|samskaras]].

The term Vivaha literally means (viśiṣṭaḥ vāhaḥ prāpaṇam) to make a girl attain wifehood, i.e. earlier there was "strītvam" (girlhood) and after marriage she attains "bhāryātvam" (wifehood).<ref name=":0">Personal communication by Prof. Korada Subrahmanyam (via email dated Jan 1, 2019)</ref> Vivaha Saṃskara is the most important of all [[Samskaras (संस्काराः)|samskaras]]. In [[Sanatana Dharma (सनातनधर्मः)|Sanatana Dharma]] tradition, the second stage of life after [[Brahmacharyashrama (ब्रह्मचर्याश्रमः)|Brahmacharya]] is called the [[Grhasthashrama (गृहस्थाश्रमः)|Grhasthashrama]]<ref>Radhakrishnan, S. (1926). ''Hindu view of life''. George Allen And Unwin Ltd, London.</ref>. Marriage or Vivaha is the foundation of the Grhasthashrama.<ref>Pandey, Raj Bali. (1949) ''Hindu Samskaras, A Socio-religious study of the Hindu Sacraments.'' Banaras: Vikrama Publications. (Pages 25-38)</ref>

In [[Sanatana Dharma (सनातनधर्मः)|Sanatana Dharma]] traditions the second stage of life after [[Brahmacharyashrama (ब्रह्मचर्याश्रमः)|Brahmacharya]] is called the [[Grhasthashrama (गृहस्थाश्रमः)|Grhasthashrama]]<ref>Radhakrishnan, S. (1926). ''Hindu view of life''. George Allen And Unwin Ltd, London.</ref>. A human being is not ordinarily self- sufficing. These are as a rule encouraged to enter the married life. In India monastic tendencies were discouraged until one had a normal expression of natural impulses. He who runs back from marriage is in the same boat with one who runs away from battle. Only failures in life avoid occasions for virtue. Marriage is regarded as sacred. When the Hindu descends from the adoration of the Absolute and takes to the worship of a personal god, his god has always a consort. He does not worship a bachelor or a virgin.

A human being is not ordinarily self-sufficing, and as a socially accepted rule are encouraged to enter the married life. In India, monastic tendencies were discouraged until one had a normal expression of natural impulses. He who refrains from marriage is similar to one who runs away from battle. Marriage is regarded as sacred. When a person participating in the activities of the society, takes to the worship of a personal deity, the deity is always associated with a consort, rarely does he worship a bachelor or a virgin deity (though such  instances are not unseen).<ref name=":0" />

Śiva is ardhanāriśvara, and his image signifies the cooperative interdependent, separately incomplete but jointly complete masculine and feminine functions of the supreme being. There is nothing unwholesome or guilty about the sex life. Through the institution of marriage it is made the basis of intellectual and moral intimacies. Marriage is not so much a concession to human weakness as a means of spiritual growth. It is prescribed for the sake of the development of personality as well as the continuance of the family ideal. Marriage has this social side. Every family is a partnership between the living and the dead.

Śiva is ardhanāriśvara, and his image signifies the cooperative interdependent, separately incomplete but jointly complete masculine and feminine functions of the supreme being. Regarding conjugal pleasures there is nothing unwholesome or guilty about the sex life. Through the institution of marriage it is made the basis of intellectual and moral intimacies. Marriage is not so much a concession to human weakness as a means of spiritual growth. It is prescribed for the sake of the development of personality as well as the continuance of the family ideal. Marriage has this social side. Every family is a partnership between the living and the dead.<ref name=":0" />

The Hindu ideal emphasizes the individual and the social aspects of the institution of marriage. Man is not a tyrant nor is woman a slave, but both are servants of a higher ideal to which their individual inclinations are to be subordinated. Sensual love is sublimated into self-forgetful devotion. Marriage for the Hindu is a problem and not a datum. Except in the pages of fiction we do not have a pair agreeing with each other in everything, tastes and temper, ideals and interests. Irreducible peculiarities there will always be, and the task of the institution of marriage is to use these differences to promote a harmonious life. Instincts and passions are the raw material which are to be worked up into an ideal whole. Though there is some choice with regard to our mates, there is a large element of chance in the best of marriages. That marriage is successful which transforms a chance mate into a life companion. Marriage is not the end of the struggle, it is but the beginning of a strenuous life where we attempt to realize a larger ideal by subordinating our private interests and inclinations. seva (सेवा | selfless service) of a common ideal can bind together the most unlike individuals. Love demands its sacrifices. By restraint and endurance, we raise love to the likeness of the divine. In an ideal marriage the genuine interests of the two members are perfectly reconciled.

The Hindu ideal emphasizes the individual and the social aspects of the institution of marriage. Man is not a tyrant nor is woman a slave, but both are servants of a higher ideal to which their individual inclinations are to be subordinated. Sensual love is sublimated into self-forgetful devotion. Marriage for the Hindu is a problem and not a datum. Except in the pages of fiction we do not have a pair agreeing with each other in everything, tastes and temper, ideals and interests. Irreducible peculiarities there will always be, and the task of the institution of marriage is to use these differences to promote a harmonious life. Instincts and passions are the raw material which are to be worked up into an ideal whole. Though there is some choice with regard to our mates, there is a large element of chance in the best of marriages. That marriage is successful which transforms a chance mate into a life companion. Marriage is not the end of the struggle, it is but the beginning of a strenuous life where we attempt to realize a larger ideal by subordinating our private interests and inclinations. seva (सेवा | selfless service) of a common ideal can bind together the most unlike individuals. Love demands its sacrifices. By restraint and endurance, we raise love to the likeness of the divine. In an ideal marriage the genuine interests of the two members are perfectly reconciled.

The recognition of the spiritual ideal of marriage requires us to regard the marriage relation as an indissoluble one. So long as we take a small view of life and adopt for our guide the fancy or feeling of the moment, marriage relation cannot be regarded as permanent. In the first moments of infatuation we look upon our partners as angels from heaven, but soon the wonder wears away, and if we persist in our passion for perfection, we become agitated and often bitter. The unrest is the effect of a false ideal. The perfect relation is to be created and not found. The existence of incompatibility is a challenge to a more vigorous effort. To resort to divorce is to confess defeat. The misfits and the maladjustments are but failures.  

The recognition of the spiritual ideal of marriage requires us to regard the marriage relation as an indissoluble one. So long as we take a small view of life and adopt for our guide the fancy or feeling of the moment, marriage relation cannot be regarded as permanent. In the first moments of infatuation we look upon our partners as angels from heaven, but soon the wonder wears away, and if we persist in our passion for perfection, we become agitated and often bitter. The unrest is the effect of a false ideal. The perfect relation is to be created and not found. The existence of incompatibility is a challenge to a more vigorous effort. To resort to divorce is to confess defeat. The misfits and the maladjustments are but failures.  

== Institution of Marriage ==

== Institution of Marriage ==

Taittirīyasaṃhitā (6.3.10.5) says that a Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts and the debts of sages and forefathers have to be cleared by performing Yajñas (sacrifices) and producing children –<blockquote>जायमानो ह वै ब्राह्मणस्त्रिभिर्ऋणवान् जायते ब्रह्मचर्येण ऋषिभ्यः यज्ञेन देवेभ्यः प्रजया पितृभ्यः एष वा अनृणो यः पुत्री यज्वा ब्रह्मचारिवासी . . . jāyamāno ha vai brāhmaṇastribhirṛṇavān jāyate brahmacaryeṇa ṛṣibhyaḥ yajñena devebhyaḥ prajayā pitṛbhyaḥ eṣa vā anṛṇo yaḥ putrī yajvā brahmacārivāsī . . .</blockquote>A Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts – he has to clear the debt of sages through [[Brahmacharya (ब्रह्मचर्यम्)|Brahmacarya]] (celibacy), that of deities / Gods through Yajñas (sacrifices) and that of forefathers through producing children. Therefore the Brāhmaṇa would be debtless if he has children, performs sacrifices and maintains Brahmacaryam.

Taittirīyasaṃhitā (6.3.10.5) says that a Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts and the debts of sages and forefathers have to be cleared by performing Yajñas (sacrifices) and producing children –<blockquote>जायमानो ह वै ब्राह्मणस्त्रिभिर्ऋणवान् जायते ब्रह्मचर्येण ऋषिभ्यः यज्ञेन देवेभ्यः प्रजया पितृभ्यः एष वा अनृणो यः पुत्री यज्वा ब्रह्मचारिवासी . . . jāyamāno ha vai brāhmaṇastribhirṛṇavān jāyate brahmacaryeṇa ṛṣibhyaḥ yajñena devebhyaḥ prajayā pitṛbhyaḥ eṣa vā anṛṇo yaḥ putrī yajvā brahmacārivāsī . . .</blockquote>A Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts – he has to clear the debt of sages through [[Brahmacharya (ब्रह्मचर्यम्)|Brahmacarya]] (celibacy), that of deities / Gods through Yajñas (sacrifices) and that of forefathers through producing children. Therefore the Brāhmaṇa would be debtless if he has children, performs sacrifices and maintains Brahmacaryam.<ref name=":0" />

== Bride and bridegroom ==

== Bride and bridegroom ==

# Dharmik aspects - such as not being Sagotra or Sapinda of each other, should have vedic education in family etc

# Dharmik aspects - such as not being Sagotra or Sapinda of each other, should have vedic education in family etc

# Social aspects - such as a bride having brothers or not, if born of improper marriage, character, education etc.

# Social aspects - such as a bride having brothers or not, if born of improper marriage, character, education etc.

# Heriditary matters - such as whether the families have male progeny

# Hereditary matters - such as whether the families have male progeny

Manu gives a list of types of families, girls from which should not be accepted for wedlock, even though the families may be “ever so great, or rich in cows, horses, sheep, grain, or other property”. <blockquote>महान्त्यपि समृद्धानि गोऽजाविधनधान्यतः । स्त्रीसंबन्धे दशैतानि कुलानि परिवर्जयेत् । । ३.६ । । हीनक्रियं निष्पुरुषं निश्छन्दो रोमशार्शसम् । क्षयामयाव्यपस्मारि श्वित्रिकुष्ठिकुलानि च । । ३.७ (Manu. Smrt. 3.6-7)<ref>Manusmrti ([https://sa.wikisource.org/wiki/%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%A8%E0%A5%81%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%83/%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%80%E0%A4%AF%E0%A5%8B%E0%A4%A7%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%83 Adhyaya 3])</ref></blockquote>These families are:<ref>Pandharinath H. Valavalkar (1939) ''Hindu Social Institutions with reference to their psychological implications.'' Bombay: Longmans, Green and Co. Ltd (Pages 158-159)</ref>

Manu gives a list of types of families, girls from which should not be accepted for wedlock, even though the families may be “ever so great, or rich in cows, horses, sheep, grain, or other property”. <blockquote>महान्त्यपि समृद्धानि गोऽजाविधनधान्यतः । स्त्रीसंबन्धे दशैतानि कुलानि परिवर्जयेत् । । ३.६ । । हीनक्रियं निष्पुरुषं निश्छन्दो रोमशार्शसम् । क्षयामयाव्यपस्मारि श्वित्रिकुष्ठिकुलानि च । । ३.७ (Manu. Smrt. 3.6-7)<ref>Manusmrti ([https://sa.wikisource.org/wiki/%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%A8%E0%A5%81%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%83/%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%80%E0%A4%AF%E0%A5%8B%E0%A4%A7%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%83 Adhyaya 3])</ref></blockquote>These families are:<ref>Pandharinath H. Valavalkar (1939) ''Hindu Social Institutions with reference to their psychological implications.'' Bombay: Longmans, Green and Co. Ltd (Pages 158-159)</ref>

# One which neglects the dharmas, i. e. their duties and obligations according to the sastras.

# One which neglects the dharmas, i. e. their duties and obligations according to the sastras.

As per the ancient Gṛhyasūtras and Dharmasūtras the girls were married around the time of puberty. Having brothers (sabhrātṛkā) is a must for a girl to be married, although some conditional procedure is offered for a girl without a brother (abhrātṛkā).

As per the ancient Gṛhyasūtras and Dharmasūtras the girls were married around the time of puberty. Having brothers (sabhrātṛkā) is a must for a girl to be married, although some conditional procedure is offered for a girl without a brother (abhrātṛkā).

=== The Bride ===

=== वधूः ॥ The Bride ===

Āpastambagṛhyasūtram prescribes the qualifications of a girl –<blockquote>बन्धुशीललक्षणसम्पन्नाम् अरोगाम् उपयच्छेत्। आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम् ,३.१९॥ bandhuśīlalakṣaṇasampannām arogām upayacchet। Āpastambagṛhyasūtram 3.19॥</blockquote>A girl having good relatives, virtues like obedience, auspicious physical characteristics and healthy should be married.

Āpastambagṛhyasūtram prescribes the qualifications of a girl –<blockquote>बन्धुशीललक्षणसम्पन्नाम् अरोगाम् उपयच्छेत्। आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम् ,३.१९॥ bandhuśīlalakṣaṇasampannām arogām upayacchet। Āpastambagṛhyasūtram 3.19॥</blockquote>A girl having good relatives, virtues like obedience, auspicious physical characteristics and healthy should be married.

Here health means not having incurable disease like leprosy.

Here health means not having incurable disease like leprosy.

=== The Bridegroom ===

=== वरः ॥ The Bridegroom ===

Āpastamba clearly states the qualifications of a good bridegroom:

Āpastamba clearly states the qualifications of a good bridegroom:

Here health means without any incurable disease like leprosy.

Here health means without any incurable disease like leprosy.

=== Deciding a Bride ===

=== Selecting a Bride ===

Āpastamba (and others) offers an easy way of selecting a bride –<blockquote>यस्यां मनश्चक्षुषोः निबन्धः तस्याम् ऋद्धिः नेतरत् आद्रियेत इत्येके। आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम् ३.२१॥ yasyāṃ manaścakṣuṣoḥ nibandhaḥ tasyām ṛddhiḥ netarat ādriyeta ityeke । ibid. 3.21॥</blockquote>In which girl the mind and eyes get fixed, i.e. the girl liked by mind and eyes of bridegroom, is good as a wife and there will be all round prosperity. Some sages say that if that is the case then the other qualifications need not be given much importance.

Āpastamba (and others) offers an easy way of selecting a bride –<blockquote>यस्यां मनश्चक्षुषोः निबन्धः तस्याम् ऋद्धिः नेतरत् आद्रियेत इत्येके। आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम् ३.२१॥ yasyāṃ manaścakṣuṣoḥ nibandhaḥ tasyām ṛddhiḥ netarat ādriyeta ityeke । ibid. 3.21॥</blockquote>In which girl the mind and eyes get fixed, i.e. the girl liked by mind and eyes of bridegroom, is good as a wife and there will be all round prosperity. Some sages say that if that is the case then the other qualifications need not be given much importance.