Marriage (विवाह: संस्कार:) - Revision history

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−	The term Vivaha (Samskrit: विवाह:) literally means (viśiṣṭaḥ vāhaḥ prāpaṇam) to make a girl attain wifehood, i.e. earlier there was "strītvam" (girlhood) and after marriage she attains "bhāryātvam" (wifehood) also. Vivaha Saṃskāra is the most important of all [https://dharmawiki.org/index.php/Samskaras_(%E0%A4%B8%E0%A4%82%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%95%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%B0%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%83) samskaras]. The Grhyasutras presuppose that every man, in his normal conditions, is expected to marry and run a home. Denoted by the word "'''marriage'''" in English several Samskrit words are employed to denote the idea of marriage. These words are based on one or more elements of the vivaha itself. '''Vivaha''' (taking the girl away in a special way or for a special purpose, i.e., for making her one's wife), '''Udvaha''' (taking the girl out of her parental home), '''Parinayana''' or '''Parinaya''' (going around or making a pradakshina to the sacred fire), '''Upayama''' (to bring near and make one's own), '''Kanyadana''' (giving away of the Kanya in dana) and '''Panigrahana''' (taking the hand of the girl) are synonymous with each other.<ref name=":2">Kane, P. V. (1941) ''History of Dharmashastras, Volume 2, Part 1.'' Poona: Bhandarkar Oriental Research Institute. (Pages 427 - )</ref><ref name=":12">Pandey, Raj Bali. (1949) ''Hindu Samskaras, A Socio-religious study of the Hindu Sacraments.'' Banaras: Vikrama Publications. (Pages 261-405)</ref>	+	The term Vivaha (Samskrit: विवाह:) literally means (viśiṣṭaḥ vāhaḥ prāpaṇam) to make a girl attain wifehood, i.e. earlier there was "strītvam" (girlhood) and after marriage she attains "bhāryātvam" (wifehood) also. Vivaha Saṃskāra is the most important of all [https://dharmawiki.org/index.php/Samskaras_(%E0%A4%B8%E0%A4%82%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%95%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%B0%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%83) samskaras]. The Grhyasutras presuppose that every man, in his normal conditions, is expected to marry and run a home. Denoted by the word "'''marriage'''" in English several Samskrit words are employed to denote the idea of marriage. These words are based on one or more elements of the vivaha itself. '''Vivaha''' (taking the girl away in a special way or for a special purpose, i.e., for making her one's wife), '''Udvaha''' (taking the girl out of her parental home), '''Parinayana''' or '''Parinaya''' (going around or making a pradakshina to the sacred fire), '''Upayama''' (to bring near and make one's own), '''Kanyadana''' (giving away of the Kanya in dana) and '''Panigrahana''' (taking the hand of the girl) are synonymous with each other.<ref name=":2">Kane, P. V. (1941) ''History of Dharmashastras, Volume 2, Part 1.'' Poona: Bhandarkar Oriental Research Institute. (Pages 427 - 541)</ref><ref name=":12">Pandey, Raj Bali. (1949) ''Hindu Samskaras, A Socio-religious study of the Hindu Sacraments.'' Banaras: Vikrama Publications. (Pages 261-405)</ref>

	== परिचयः ॥ Introduction ==		== परिचयः ॥ Introduction ==

@@ Line 27: / Line 27: @@
 ==Dharmas of the Married Couple==
-The husband and the wife were together required to observe a code of conduct, and they had to discharge their responsibility jointly. In particular, they were together required to discharge five pious obligations namely; (i) towards the deities, (ii) towards parents, (iii) towards teachers and (iv) towards humanity (v) towards other beings. In effect the [[Panchamahayajnas (पञ्चमहायज्ञाः)|Panchamahayajnas]], are the responsibilities vested on the Grhastha and this starts with the Vivaha samskara. This could be discharged only by living together with mutual love and fidelity throughout their life which is the sum and substance of dharma of husband and wife. To impress upon every couple this aspect Manusmriti -IX -101 and III-60 declared thus:<ref name=":22">Jois, Rama M. (1997) ''Dharma, The Global Ethic.'' Bombay: Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan (Pages 62 - )</ref><blockquote>अन्योन्यस्याव्यभिचारो भवेदामरणान्तिकः । एष धर्मः समासेन ज्ञेयः स्त्रीपुंसयोः परः । । ९.१०१ ।
+The husband and the wife were together required to observe a code of conduct, and they had to discharge their responsibility jointly. In particular, they were together required to discharge five pious obligations namely; (i) towards the deities, (ii) towards parents, (iii) towards teachers and (iv) towards humanity (v) towards other beings. In effect the [[Panchamahayajnas (पञ्चमहायज्ञाः)|Panchamahayajnas]], are the responsibilities vested on the Grhastha and this starts with the Vivaha samskara. This could be discharged only by living together with mutual love and fidelity throughout their life which is the sum and substance of dharma of husband and wife. To impress upon every couple this aspect Manusmriti -IX -101 and III-60 declared thus:<ref name=":22">Jois, Rama M. (1997) ''Dharma, The Global Ethic.'' Bombay: Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan (Pages 62 - 65)</ref><blockquote>अन्योन्यस्याव्यभिचारो भवेदामरणान्तिकः । एष धर्मः समासेन ज्ञेयः स्त्रीपुंसयोः परः । । ९.१०१ ।
 संतुष्टो भार्यया भर्ता भर्त्रा भार्या तथैव च । यस्मिन्नेव कुले नित्यं कल्याणं तत्र वै ध्रुवम् । । ३.६० । ।</blockquote>Meaning: Mutual friendship and fidelity is the highest Dharma to be followed by husband and wife throughout their life. he family in which husband and wife have mutual affection and respect always secures happiness and prosperity.<ref name=":22" />
 The observance of the above directive throughout life by the husband and the wife is not only conducive to happiness and harmony in family life, but also essential for national or social life.<ref name=":22" />
-Taittirīyasaṃhitā (6.3.10.5) says that a Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts and the debts of sages and forefathers have to be cleared by performing Yajñas (sacrifices) and producing children –<blockquote>जायमानो ह वै ब्राह्मणस्त्रिभिर्ऋणवान् जायते ब्रह्मचर्येण ऋषिभ्यः यज्ञेन देवेभ्यः प्रजया पितृभ्यः एष वा अनृणो यः पुत्री यज्वा ब्रह्मचारिवासी . . . jāyamāno ha vai brāhmaṇastribhirṛṇavān jāyate brahmacaryeṇa ṛṣibhyaḥ yajñena devebhyaḥ prajayā pitṛbhyaḥ eṣa vā anṛṇo yaḥ putrī yajvā brahmacārivāsī . . .</blockquote>A Brāhmaṇa is born with three debts – he has to clear the debt of sages through [[Brahmacharya (ब्रह्मचर्यम्)|Brahmacharya]] (celibacy), that of deities / Gods through [[Yajna (यज्ञः)|Yajñas]] (sacrifices) and that of forefathers through producing children. Therefore the Brāhmaṇa would be debtless if he has children, performs sacrifices and maintains Brahmacharya.
+One of the serious problems human society is facing particularly in the west and which is spreading like an epidemic disease to our country also is disregarding the 'Dharma' of husband and wife, which brings about disruption of family life. This results in serious consequences to the children, their upbringing, their character and ultimately their whole life and attitude of life which not only ruins individual life and family life but also adversely affects national life as also humanity. This is due to the 'Throwaway attitude' which is replacing the value of gratitude. This is becoming a menace to human society. In view of this every individual is becoming totally selfish in that there is no attachment to anyone not even to parents, the spouse or even children or to any thing. Every individual wants to use an article so long as he pleases and the moment he finds a better article, he throws away the first and take the second and so on. This attitude towards articles of use ie., consumerism is posing a serious economic problem to human society. That itself is sufficiently disastrous. But unfortunately it is being extended to family life also. The resultant position is, in many cases husband and wife instead of realising that marriage is a life long bond with onerous responsibilities of begetting children, educating them and providing good citizens to the nation, think that marriage is only for physical enjoyment and the spouse can be replaced by another of ones liking at any time and for any reason whatsoever. In view of this, human beings are fast losing sexual morality, and as a result are becoming no better than animals. Such an attitude is wholly contrary to Dharma. It gives rise to serious social problems particularly in cases where husband and wife after marriage have children and thereafter each prefers to go for a new spouse. They do not care what happens to their children, about their education and their upbringing. Such an attitude also results in making a child an orphan when the parents are alive.<ref name=":22" />
 ==Purpose of Marriage==
 In the Saṃkalpa (the pledge made before any rite) of marriage, the following is stated –<blockquote>धर्मप्रजासम्पत्यर्थं स्त्रियमुद्वहे dharmaprajāsampatyarthaṃ striyamudvahe</blockquote>I wed this girl for Dharma, offspring and Artha (money matters and day to day life). Further it is asserted in scriptures –<blockquote>या धर्मार्था सैव रत्यर्था या रत्यर्था सा धर्मार्था न भवति। yā dharmārthā saiva ratyarthā yā ratyarthā sā dharmārthā na bhavati ।</blockquote>The bride who is accepted as wife for Dharma is also for sexual life but the one taken for sexual life cannot be for Dharma.
 ==Eight Kinds of Marriages==
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 The bride and the groom in general should be free from bodily ailments, agreeable name, good gait and delicate limbs and must be of a good family and faultless lineage. The following factors are evaluated in choosing a bride or groom.
 #'''Biological factors''' - certain body structure, defects, virility etc
-#'''Psychological issues''' - such as mental illnesses, epilepsy, etc
+#'''Psychological issues''' - such as intelligence, mental illnesses, epilepsy, etc
 #'''Dharmik aspects''' - such as not being Sagotra or Sapinda of each other, should have vedic education in family etc
-#'''Social aspects''' - such as a bride having brothers or not, if born of improper marriage, character, education etc.
+#'''Social aspects''' - such as a bride having brothers or not, if born of improper marriage, celibacy, character, education etc.
 #'''Hereditary matters''' - such as whether the families have male progeny
 Manu gives a list of types of families, girls from which should not be accepted for wedlock, even though the families may be “ever so great, or rich in cows, horses, sheep, grain, or other property”.<blockquote>महान्त्यपि समृद्धानि गोऽजाविधनधान्यतः । स्त्रीसंबन्धे दशैतानि कुलानि परिवर्जयेत् । । ३.६ । । हीनक्रियं निष्पुरुषं निश्छन्दो रोमशार्शसम् । क्षयामयाव्यपस्मारि श्वित्रिकुष्ठिकुलानि च । । ३.७ (Manu. Smrt. 3.6-7)<ref>Manusmrti ([https://sa.wikisource.org/wiki/%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%A8%E0%A5%81%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%83/%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%83%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%80%E0%A4%AF%E0%A5%8B%E0%A4%A7%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%AF%E0%A4%83 Adhyaya 3])</ref></blockquote>These families are:<ref>Pandharinath H. Valavalkar (1939) ''Hindu Social Institutions with reference to their psychological implications.'' Bombay: Longmans, Green and Co. Ltd (Pages 158-159)</ref>
 #One which neglects the dharmas, i. e. their duties and obligations according to the sastras.

@@ Line 51: / Line 51: @@
 Needless to say marriage between a bride and groom belonging to the same caste (in Spanish "Custa" means "group") such as Brāhmaṇa, Kṣatriya, Vaiśya etc. is recommended.
 ==Eight Kinds of Marriages==
-Marriages are divided into eight types –<blockquote>ब्राह्मो दैवस्तथैवार्षः प्राजापत्यस्तथासुरः। गान्धर्वो राक्षसश्चैव पैशाचश्चाष्टमोऽधमः॥मनुस्मृतिः ३.२१॥</blockquote><blockquote>brāhmo daivastathaivārṣaḥ prājāpatyastathāsuraḥ. gāndharvo rākṣasaścaiva paiśācaścāṣṭamo'dhamaḥ॥Manusmṛtiḥ 3.21॥</blockquote>Brāhma, Daiva, Ārṣa, Prājāpatya, Āsura, Gāndharva, Rākṣasa and Paiśāca are the eight kinds of marriages and the last one, i.e. Paiśāca is condemned.
+Marriages are divided into eight types –<blockquote>ब्राह्मो दैवस्तथैवार्षः प्राजापत्यस्तथासुरः। गान्धर्वो राक्षसश्चैव पैशाचश्चाष्टमोऽधमः॥मनुस्मृतिः ३.२१॥ brāhmo daivastathaivārṣaḥ prājāpatyastathāsuraḥ. gāndharvo rākṣasaścaiva paiśācaścāṣṭamo'dhamaḥ॥Manusmṛtiḥ 3.21॥</blockquote>Brāhma, Daiva, Ārṣa, Prājāpatya, Āsura, Gāndharva, Rākṣasa and Paiśāca are the eight kinds of marriages and the last one, i.e. Paiśāca is condemned.
 Here is an explanation of the eight forms of marriage:
@@ Line 81: / Line 81: @@
 This tradition has been there in Indian subcontinent since time immemorial. The horoscopes of bride and groom are referred to an astrologer (Jyautiṣika) who, in turn would advise whether the pair would make a good couple or not. The Jyautiṣika would take into consideration aspects such as Grahamaitrī (rapport between the lords of Rāśis of bride and groom – this is important for Brāhmaṇas).
-'''Kujadoṣa (the defect of Mars placed in wrong house)''': This is a very important aspect in terms of compatibility between the horoscopes of bride and groom –<blockquote>धने व्यये च पाताळे जामित्रे चाष्टमे कुजे। स्त्रीणां भर्तृविनाशः स्यात् पुंसां भार्याविनाशनम्॥ अगस्त्यसंहिता॥ dhane vyaye ca pātāle jāmitre cāṣṭame kuje । strīṇāṃ bhartṛvināśaḥ syāt puṃsāṃ bhāryāvināśanam॥ Agastyasaṃhitā॥</blockquote>If Kuja (Mars) is placed in second, fourth, seventh, eighth or twelfth house (it is called Kujadoṣa) of the bride then it would cause the death of the groom and vice versa. The above said houses are to be counted from Lagna (ascendant), Rāśi (the house in which Moon is situated) and Śukra (Venus). However the Kujadoṣa gets nullified if there is any of the three relations of Guru (Jupiter) with Kuja, i.e. Parivartana (swapping of houses by Guru and Kuja), or association (both Guru and Kuja in the same house) or aspect of Guru to Kuja (Guru has fifth, seventh and ninth aspects). Similarly for those who are born in Kuja's own houses, i.e. Meṣa (Aries) and Vṛścika (Scoprio), Mitrakṣetra (friend's house), i.e. Simha (Leo) of Ravi (Sun), Mīna (Pisces) and Dhanus (Sagittarius) of Guru, Karkaṭaka (Cancer) of Candra (Moon), Uccakṣetra (zenith) i.e. Makara (Capricorn) – Kujadoṣa is nullified –<blockquote>अर्केन्दुक्षेत्रजातानां कुजदोषो न विद्यते। स्वोच्चमित्रभजातानां पीडको न भवेत्कुजः॥ देवकेरळम् ॥ arkendukṣetrajātānāṃ kujadoṣo na vidyate । svoccamitrabhajātānāṃ pīḍako na bhavetkujaḥ॥ Devakeraḷam ॥</blockquote>Further, there will be compatibility if Kujadoṣa is there in the horoscopes of both the bride and groom.
+'''Kujadoṣa (the defect of Mars placed in wrong house)''': This is a very important aspect in terms of compatibility between the horoscopes of bride and groom –<blockquote>धने व्यये च पाताळे जामित्रे चाष्टमे कुजे। स्त्रीणां भर्तृविनाशः स्यात् पुंसां भार्याविनाशनम्॥ अगस्त्यसंहिता॥ dhane vyaye ca pātāle jāmitre cāṣṭame kuje । strīṇāṃ bhartṛvināśaḥ syāt puṃsāṃ bhāryāvināśanam॥ Agastyasaṃhitā॥</blockquote>If Kuja (Mars) is placed in second, fourth, seventh, eighth or twelfth house (it is called Kujadoṣa) of the bride then it would cause the death of the groom and vice versa. The above said houses are to be counted from Lagna (ascendant), Rāśi (the house in which Moon is situated) and Śukra (Venus). However the Kujadoṣa gets nullified if there is any of the three relations of Guru (Jupiter) with Kuja, i.e. Parivartana (swapping of houses by Guru and Kuja), or association (both Guru and Kuja in the same house) or aspect of Guru to Kuja (Guru has fifth, seventh and ninth aspects). Similarly for those who are born in Kuja's own houses, i.e. Meṣa (Aries) and Vṛścika (Scorpio), Mitrakṣetra (friend's house), i.e. Simha (Leo) of Ravi (Sun), Mīna (Pisces) and Dhanus (Sagittarius) of Guru, Karkaṭaka (Cancer) of Candra (Moon), Uccakṣetra (zenith) i.e. Makara (Capricorn) – Kujadoṣa is nullified –<blockquote>अर्केन्दुक्षेत्रजातानां कुजदोषो न विद्यते। स्वोच्चमित्रभजातानां पीडको न भवेत्कुजः॥ देवकेरळम् ॥ arkendukṣetrajātānāṃ kujadoṣo na vidyate । svoccamitrabhajātānāṃ pīḍako na bhavetkujaḥ॥ Devakeraḷam ॥</blockquote>Further, there will be compatibility if Kujadoṣa is there in the horoscopes of both the bride and groom.
 While fixing the Muhūrta (auspicious time) for marriage one has to take care of the conditions such as Jāmitraśuddhi (either no graha (ग्रह) in the seventh house from Lagnam / ascendant or there is Śubhagraha / auspicious graha in that house) etc. that are prescribed in the works on Jyotiṣam such as Kālāmṛtam, Muhūrtacintāmaṇi etc.
@@ Line 98: / Line 98: @@
 Jaimini in Pūrvamīmāṃsā (6.1.4.17) rules that both husband and wife have to do the rites jointly but not separately –
-स्ववतोस्तु वचनादैककर्म्यं स्यात्
+स्ववतोस्तु वचनादैककर्म्यं स्यात् svavatostu vacanādaikakarmyaṃ syāt
 In the case of a wife and husband with wealth, due to the Vedic sentence (dharme cārthe ca kāme ca nāticaritavyā) both are entitled to combinedly perform the same rite.
@@ Line 119: / Line 117: @@
 *Aśmārohaṇa: The Patnī is made to tread on a millstone. The above three, viz. lājahoma, agnipariṇayana and aśmārohaṇa are done thrice, one after the other.
-*Saptapadī: Literally it means a rite in which the Patnī is made by Pati to walk seven steps. According to tradition friendship is established between people by walking seven steps together or speaking seven words  with each other –<blockquote>साप्तपदीनं सख्यम् (पाणिनिसूत्रम् ५.२.२)</blockquote><blockquote>सख्यं साप्तपदीनं स्यात् (अमरकोशः २.८.१२)</blockquote><blockquote>sāptapadīnaṃ sakhyam (pāṇinisūtram 5.2.2)</blockquote><blockquote>sakhyaṃ sāptapadīnaṃ syāt (amarakośaḥ 2.8.12)</blockquote>This is a very important aspect of marriage. After completing the seven steps together with Pati, the Patnī would lose her father's Gotram (origin of inheritance from a sage) and needless to say would attain the Gotram of her Pati –<blockquote>स्वगोत्रात् भ्रश्यते नारी विवाहात् सप्तमे पदे (स्मृतिः)</blockquote><blockquote>svagotrāt bhraśyate nārī vivāhāt saptame pade (smṛtiḥ)</blockquote>The bride would lose her Gotram in the seventh step in the marriage. Āpastamba clearly explains the procedure of Saptapadī –<blockquote>अथैनामुत्तरेणाग्निं दक्षिणेन पदा प्राचीमुदीचीं वा दिशम् अभिप्रक्रमयति एकमिष इति ॥</blockquote><blockquote>(आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम्, ४.१५)</blockquote><blockquote>athaināmuttareṇāgniṃ dakṣiṇena padā prācīmudīcīṃ vā diśam abhiprakramayati ekamiṣa iti ॥ (Āpastambagṛhyasūtram, 4.15)</blockquote>After Pāṇigrahaṇam, a cloth has to be spread on the north side of the fire in such a way that the end-part of the cloth is left in the east or north, rice is to be put on the cloth and the Pati makes the Patnī walk along on the rice towards east or north for seven steps placing the right foot first.
+*Saptapadī: Literally it means a rite in which the Patnī is made by Pati to walk seven steps. According to tradition friendship is established between people by walking seven steps together or speaking seven words  with each other –<blockquote>साप्तपदीनं सख्यम् (पाणिनिसूत्रम् ५.२.२) sāptapadīnaṃ sakhyam (pāṇinisūtram 5.2.2)  सख्यं साप्तपदीनं स्यात् (अमरकोशः २.८.१२) sakhyaṃ sāptapadīnaṃ syāt (amarakośaḥ 2.8.12)</blockquote>This is a very important aspect of marriage. After completing the seven steps together with Pati, the Patnī would lose her father's Gotram (origin of inheritance from a sage) and needless to say would attain the Gotram of her Pati –<blockquote>स्वगोत्रात् भ्रश्यते नारी विवाहात् सप्तमे पदे (स्मृतिः) svagotrāt bhraśyate nārī vivāhāt saptame pade (smṛtiḥ)</blockquote>The bride would lose her Gotram in the seventh step in the marriage. Āpastamba clearly explains the procedure of Saptapadī –<blockquote>अथैनामुत्तरेणाग्निं दक्षिणेन पदा प्राचीमुदीचीं वा दिशम् अभिप्रक्रमयति एकमिष इति ॥ (आपस्तम्बगृह्यसूत्रम्, ४.१५)</blockquote><blockquote>athaināmuttareṇāgniṃ dakṣiṇena padā prācīmudīcīṃ vā diśam abhiprakramayati ekamiṣa iti ॥ (Āpastambagṛhyasūtram, 4.15)</blockquote>After Pāṇigrahaṇam, a cloth has to be spread on the north side of the fire in such a way that the end-part of the cloth is left in the east or north, rice is to be put on the cloth and the Pati makes the Patnī walk along on the rice towards east or north for seven steps placing the right foot first.
 At every step the Pati recites a specific Mantra –

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 Śiva is ardhanāriśvara, and his image signifies the cooperative interdependent, separately incomplete but jointly complete masculine and feminine functions of the supreme being. There is nothing unwholesome or guilty about the sex life. Through the institution of marriage it is made the basis of intellectual and moral intimacies. Marriage is not so much a concession to human weakness as a means of spiritual growth. It is prescribed for the sake of the development of personality as well as the continuance of the family ideal. Marriage has this social side. Every family is a partnership between the living and the dead.
-The Hindu ideal emphasizes the individual and the social aspects of the institution of marriage. Man is not a tyrant nor is woman a slave, but both are servants of a higher ideal to which their individual inclinations are to be subordinated. Sensual love is sublimated into self-forgetful devotion. Marriage for the Hindu is a problem and not a datum. Except in the pages of fiction we do not have a pair agreeing with each other in everything, tastes and temper, ideals and interests. Irreducible peculiarities there will always be, and the task of the institution of marriage is to use these differences to promote a harmonious life. Instincts and passions are the raw material which are to be worked up into an ideal whole. Though there is some choice with regard to our mates, there is a large element of chance in the best of marriages. That marriage is successful which transforms a chance mate into a life companion. Marriage is not the end of the struggle, it is but the beginning of a strenuous life where we attempt to realize a larger ideal by subordinating our private interests and inclinations. Service of a common ideal can bind together the most unlike individuals. Love demands its sacrifices. By restraint and endurance, we raise love to the likeness of the divine. In an ideal marriage the genuine interests of the two members are perfectly reconciled.
+The Hindu ideal emphasizes the individual and the social aspects of the institution of marriage. Man is not a tyrant nor is woman a slave, but both are servants of a higher ideal to which their individual inclinations are to be subordinated. Sensual love is sublimated into self-forgetful devotion. Marriage for the Hindu is a problem and not a datum. Except in the pages of fiction we do not have a pair agreeing with each other in everything, tastes and temper, ideals and interests. Irreducible peculiarities there will always be, and the task of the institution of marriage is to use these differences to promote a harmonious life. Instincts and passions are the raw material which are to be worked up into an ideal whole. Though there is some choice with regard to our mates, there is a large element of chance in the best of marriages. That marriage is successful which transforms a chance mate into a life companion. Marriage is not the end of the struggle, it is but the beginning of a strenuous life where we attempt to realize a larger ideal by subordinating our private interests and inclinations. seva (सेवा | selfless service) of a common ideal can bind together the most unlike individuals. Love demands its sacrifices. By restraint and endurance, we raise love to the likeness of the divine. In an ideal marriage the genuine interests of the two members are perfectly reconciled.
 The perfectly ethical marriage is the monogamous one. The relation of Rāma and Sītā, or Sāvitrī and Satyavān, where the two stand by each other against the whole world, is idealized in the Hindu scriptures. In the absence of absolute perfection we have to be content with approximations. We need not, however, confound the higher with the lower.

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 {{One source}}
-In the Hindu tradition the second stage of life after [[Brahmacharyashrama (ब्रह्मचर्याश्रमः)|Brahmacharya]] is called the [[Grhasthashrama (गृहस्थाश्रमः)|Grihasthaashram]].
+(As of now this entire content has been taken from: Radhakrishnan, S. (1926). ''Hindu view of life''. George Allen And Unwin Ltd, London.)
-The second stage is that of the householder or the gāhastha. A human being is not ordinarily self- sufficing. The God of Aristotle may enjoy his solitary existence, but not the men and women of the world. These are as a rule encouraged to enter the married life.<sup>10</sup> India has known for centuries what Freud is popularizing in Europe, that repressed desires are more corrupting in their effects than those exercised openly and freely. Monastic tendencies were discouraged until one had a normal expression of natural impulses. He who runs back from marriage is in the same boat with one who runs away from battle. Only failures in life avoid occasions for virtue. Marriage is regarded as sacred. The very gods are married. When the Hindu descends from the adoration of the Absolute and takes to the worship of a personal god, his god has always a consort. He does not worship a bachelor or a virgin. Śiva is ardhanāriśvara, and his image signifies the cooperative interdependent, separately incomplete but jointly complete masculine and feminine functions of the supreme being. There is nothing unwholesome or guilty about the sex life. Through the institution of marriage it is made the basis of intellectual and moral intimacies. Marriage is not so much a concession to human weakness as a means of spiritual growth. It is prescribed for the sake of the development of personality as well as the continuance of the family ideal. Marriage has this social side. Every family is a partnership between the living and the dead. The Śrāddha ceremony is intended to impress the idea of the family solidarity on the members. At the end of the ceremony the performer asks, ‘Let me, O fathers! have a hero for a son.’<sup>11</sup> The Hindu ideal emphasizes the individual and the social aspects of the institution of marriage. Man is not a tyrant nor is woman a slave, but both are servants of a higher ideal to which their individual inclinations are to be subordinated. Sensual love is sublimated into self-forgetful devotion. Marriage for the Hindu is a problem and not a datum. Except in the pages of fiction we do not have a pair agreeing with each other in everything, tastes and temper, ideals and interests. Irreducible peculiarities there will always be, and the task of the institution of marriage is to use these differences to promote a harmonious life. Instincts and passions are the raw material which are to be worked up into an ideal whole. Though there is some choice with regard to our mates, there is a large element of chance in the best of marriages. Carve as we will that mysterious block of which our life is made, the black vein of destiny or chance, whatever we may call it, appears again and again in it. That marriage is successful which transforms a chance mate into a life companion. Marriage is not the end of the struggle, it is but the beginning of a strenuous life where we attempt to realize a larger ideal by subordinating our private interests and inclinations. Service of a common ideal can bind together the most unlike individuals. Love demands its sacrifices. By restraint and endurance, we raise love to the likeness of the divine.
+In the Hindu tradition the second stage of life after [[Brahmacharyashrama (ब्रह्मचर्याश्रमः)|Brahmacharya]] is called the [[Grhasthashrama (गृहस्थाश्रमः)|Grihasthaashram]]<ref>Radhakrishnan, S. (1926). ''Hindu view of life''. George Allen And Unwin Ltd, London.</ref>. A human being is not ordinarily self- sufficing. These are as a rule encouraged to enter the married life. In India monastic tendencies were discouraged until one had a normal expression of natural impulses. He who runs back from marriage is in the same boat with one who runs away from battle. Only failures in life avoid occasions for virtue. Marriage is regarded as sacred. When the Hindu descends from the adoration of the Absolute and takes to the worship of a personal god, his god has always a consort. He does not worship a bachelor or a virgin.
-In an ideal marriage the genuine interests of the two members are perfectly reconciled. The
+Śiva is ardhanāriśvara, and his image signifies the cooperative interdependent, separately incomplete but jointly complete masculine and feminine functions of the supreme being. There is nothing unwholesome or guilty about the sex life. Through the institution of marriage it is made the basis of intellectual and moral intimacies. Marriage is not so much a concession to human weakness as a means of spiritual growth. It is prescribed for the sake of the development of personality as well as the continuance of the family ideal. Marriage has this social side. Every family is a partnership between the living and the dead.
-perfectly ethical marriage is the monogamous one. The relation of Rāma and Sītā, or Sāvitrī and Satyavān, where the two stand by each other against the whole world, is idealized in the Hindu scriptures. In the absence of absolute perfection we have to be content with approximations. We need not, however, confound the higher with the lower. Eight different kinds of marriages are recognized in the Hindu law books. Manu did not shut his eyes to the practices of his contemporaries. He arranges the different kinds of marriages in an order. While marriages in which personal inclination is subordinated rank high, those by mutual choice (gāndharva), force (rākṣasa), purchase (āsura) come lower. The lowest is paiśāca. When the lover ravishes a maiden without her consent, when she is asleep, or intoxicated or deranged in mind, we have a case of paiśāca marriage.<sup>12</sup> It is a very low kind of marriage, but admitted as valid with the laudable motives of giving the injured women the status of wives and their offspring legitimacy.
+The Hindu ideal emphasizes the individual and the social aspects of the institution of marriage. Man is not a tyrant nor is woman a slave, but both are servants of a higher ideal to which their individual inclinations are to be subordinated. Sensual love is sublimated into self-forgetful devotion. Marriage for the Hindu is a problem and not a datum. Except in the pages of fiction we do not have a pair agreeing with each other in everything, tastes and temper, ideals and interests. Irreducible peculiarities there will always be, and the task of the institution of marriage is to use these differences to promote a harmonious life. Instincts and passions are the raw material which are to be worked up into an ideal whole. Though there is some choice with regard to our mates, there is a large element of chance in the best of marriages. That marriage is successful which transforms a chance mate into a life companion. Marriage is not the end of the struggle, it is but the beginning of a strenuous life where we attempt to realize a larger ideal by subordinating our private interests and inclinations. Service of a common ideal can bind together the most unlike individuals. Love demands its sacrifices. By restraint and endurance, we raise love to the likeness of the divine. In an ideal marriage the genuine interests of the two members are perfectly reconciled.
-Insistence on the interests of the family led to a compromise of the monogamous ideal. While the monogamous ideal is held up as the best, polygamy was also tolerated. When you have no male offspring, or when, by mistake or chance, you seduce a woman when you are married, it is your duty to protect her from desertion and from public scorn, save her from a life of infamy and degradation, and protect her children who are in no way responsible for the ways of their parents; in such cases polygamy is permissible. The story of the epic Rāmāyana has for one of its chief lessons the evils of polygamy. The palace of Daśaratha was a centre of intrigue, and Rāma, the hero of the story, stands up for the monogamous ideal.
+The perfectly ethical marriage is the monogamous one. The relation of Rāma and Sītā, or Sāvitrī and Satyavān, where the two stand by each other against the whole world, is idealized in the Hindu scriptures. In the absence of absolute perfection we have to be content with approximations. We need not, however, confound the higher with the lower.
-A system which looks upon marriage as compulsory for all has its own weaknesses, though it does not develop large numbers of unmarried women who see no meaning in life. It is obliged to discountenance the remarriage of widows.<sup>13</sup> It unconsciously tends to lower the marriageable age of girls. It is necessary for the leaders to remember the Hindu ideals and bring about a more satisfactory state of affairs.
+Eight different kinds of marriages are recognized in the Hindu law books. Manu did not shut his eyes to the practices of his contemporaries. He arranges the different kinds of marriages in an order. While marriages in which personal inclination is subordinated rank high, those by mutual choice (gāndharva), force (rākṣasa), purchase (āsura) come lower. The lowest is paiśāca. When the lover ravishes a maiden without her consent, when she is asleep, or intoxicated or deranged in mind, we have a case of paiśāca marriage.
 The recognition of the spiritual ideal of marriage requires us to regard the marriage relation as an indissoluble one. So long as we take a small view of life and adopt for our guide the fancy or feeling of the moment, marriage relation cannot be regarded as permanent. In the first moments of infatuation we look upon our partners as angels from heaven, but soon the wonder wears away, and if we persist in our passion for perfection, we become agitated and often bitter. The unrest is the effect of a false ideal. The perfect relation is to be created and not found. The existence of incompatibility is a challenge to a more vigorous effort. To resort to divorce is to confess defeat. The misfits and the maladjustments are but failures.
 ==References==

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		+	{{One source}}
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	In the Hindu tradition the second stage of life after [[Brahmacharyashrama (ब्रह्मचर्याश्रमः)\|Brahmacharya]] is called the [[Grhasthashrama (गृहस्थाश्रमः)\|Grihasthaashram]]. A human being is		In the Hindu tradition the second stage of life after [[Brahmacharyashrama (ब्रह्मचर्याश्रमः)\|Brahmacharya]] is called the [[Grhasthashrama (गृहस्थाश्रमः)\|Grihasthaashram]]. A human being is

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	Though we have had our share of exaggerating the wickedness of women, and though we have some texts which regard the woman as the eternal temptress of the man Adam, a snare of perdition, as Donaldson expressed it, ‘a fireship continually striving to get alongside the male man-of-war and blow him up into pieces’, the general Hindu view of woman is an exalted one. It regards the woman as the helpmate of man in all his work, ahadharmiṇī.<sup>14</sup> The Hindu believes in the speciality of the contribution which woman makes to the world. She has special responsibilities and special duties. Even such an advanced thinker as Mrs Bertrand Russell allows that ‘each class and sex has that to give to the common stock of achievement, knowledge and thought which it alone can give, and robs itself and the community by inferior imitation’.<sup>15</sup> So long as children cannot be shaken from heaven, but have to be built within their mothers’ bodies, so long will there be a specific function for women. As the bearing and rearing of children take a good deal of their time and attention, women were relieved of the economic responsibilities for the family. While man is expected to take to the worldly pursuits (yajñaprādhānya), woman is capable of great heights of selfcontrol and self-denial (tapaḥprādhānya). The stricter code of morality applied to women is really a compliment to them, for it accepts the natural superiority of the women. But the modern woman, if I may say so, is losing her self-respect. She does not respect her own individuality and uniqueness, but is paying an unconscious tribute to man by trying to imitate him. She is fast becoming masculine and mechanical. Adventurous pursuits are leading her into conflict with her own inner nature.		Though we have had our share of exaggerating the wickedness of women, and though we have some texts which regard the woman as the eternal temptress of the man Adam, a snare of perdition, as Donaldson expressed it, ‘a fireship continually striving to get alongside the male man-of-war and blow him up into pieces’, the general Hindu view of woman is an exalted one. It regards the woman as the helpmate of man in all his work, ahadharmiṇī.<sup>14</sup> The Hindu believes in the speciality of the contribution which woman makes to the world. She has special responsibilities and special duties. Even such an advanced thinker as Mrs Bertrand Russell allows that ‘each class and sex has that to give to the common stock of achievement, knowledge and thought which it alone can give, and robs itself and the community by inferior imitation’.<sup>15</sup> So long as children cannot be shaken from heaven, but have to be built within their mothers’ bodies, so long will there be a specific function for women. As the bearing and rearing of children take a good deal of their time and attention, women were relieved of the economic responsibilities for the family. While man is expected to take to the worldly pursuits (yajñaprādhānya), woman is capable of great heights of selfcontrol and self-denial (tapaḥprādhānya). The stricter code of morality applied to women is really a compliment to them, for it accepts the natural superiority of the women. But the modern woman, if I may say so, is losing her self-respect. She does not respect her own individuality and uniqueness, but is paying an unconscious tribute to man by trying to imitate him. She is fast becoming masculine and mechanical. Adventurous pursuits are leading her into conflict with her own inner nature.
		+
		+	==References==
		+
		+	[[Category:Dharmas]]
		+	<references />